I was sick and tired of the sly remarks about how I shouldn’t be alone and how Xylo should remain by my side. It was kind of him to care for my safety—though given his feelings about females, I didn’t think it had anything to do withmespecifically—but his attitude needed to change.
“A friend”—he laughed derisively—“with a female?”
“Yeah. Why is that so hard to believe?”
“I am a severed male. Once rejected, females do not want anything to do with a severed male. Why would they want a male who had been deemed not good enough for another female’s nest? Unbonded males cannot understand how it feels to be court-bonded and to have it severed. A bonded male's life revolves around their nestqueen. Sure, everyone on the ship works together efficiently. But socially? I am an outcast. There are a number of severed males on this ship, yet we are all alone. That phantom ache from the severed bond—” He cut himself off, voice pained. His eyes bored into mine, a plea in their depths.
“Want to know something? I was an outcast too. An experiment not worthy of anyone’s time or attention, always separate. I still am. I’m the only one of my kind, thrust among vastly different species I am struggling to understand. Believe me, I understand what you’re saying. I may not know how being severed feels, but I can empathize. Feeling the difference my newly formed courting bond with Xylo makes—though I don’t fully understand everything about it—I can imagine how devastating it would be if it were severed. It gives me comfort.”
Embarrassed by my rant—how much I had inadvertently revealed—I looked down at my feet and rocked back and forth in the sand.
Silence fell between us as I watched the water lapping against my feet. I wasn’t sure what had possessed me to spill my feelings to him, but now that I had, I hoped it had cleared the air, and we could start again. Glancing up, I kicked water at him and smirked, trying to lighten the mood.
“Look. Can we start over? You brought me here to teach me how to swim. Can we?”
His eyes roamed my body before he settled his gaze on mine.
“I am not going to lie and say I understand you. You are a strange female. But if learning how to swim is what you want, I shall teach you.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Xylo
“Let’s get this straight. I wanted to get to know you and maybe one day become friends, but I guess I was wrong to believe you wanted the same. I get you distrust females, that there’s some history I’m unaware of. Whether you ever want to tell me is up to you, but don’t judge me based solely on that. I am not them. And don’t denigrate Xylo. He has a job, and from what I can tell, loves it. I refuse to take him away from it just because I accidentally court-bonded with him. When we figure out whether to make our bond permanent, how we live and how much time we spend apart for work can be decided, but I am not ever going to be the reason he stops. But most importantly, whatever’s between Xylo and me is between us. Got it? It’s none of your business. He trusted me enough to give me freedom I’ve never had. To let me roam the ship by myself. To make my own decisions. He is this ship’s Master Scholar, so you should trust he is capable of evaluating the situation.”
Selena’s mental outburst was laced with so much anger, Xylo dropped his tablet. The three healers across the room eyed him questioningly.
“Something wrong?” Usthu asked.
Xylo took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He tiltedhis head. “Just an outburst from Selena. It seems she is angry at someone and telling them why, in no uncertain terms.”
Xylo glanced at Usthu and the others before picking up his tablet up off the desk. He could not believe what he had just overheard. She did not want him to stop his research and resign from his job just because they were court-bonded?
He had been surprised enough when she had not demanded he accompany her on her tour earlier. Pregnant females typically required their nestmates to be around them at all times. Sometimes a nestqueen would even demand a change in their new nestmate’s job once their bond was established—much less after they became pregnant. This was beyond anything he could have dreamed—she did not want him to change anything, she wanted him to continue being a Master Scholar if he wished.
Pride filled him.
She might not be Wudox or Ulax, but he could not have asked for a better female. Xylo could tell she was caring and thoughtful of others. She did not let her traumatic upbringing destroy her life or make her fearful. She looked at life with such wonder, and her requests were so small. Mostly, she seemed to hunger for new experiences.
He wanted to give her everything he could. He wanted to prove to her he was nestmate material. Right now, what she needed most was research on Aldawi and human pregnancies. He needed to prepare, to make sure her labor went smoothly.
Her health and that of her offspring was his highest priority.
He was also concerned about what the Aldawi wanted with her—and what they might do with her hybrid offspring. Xylo needed to discuss with Selena what she wanted to do with her new family. He was willing to care for her offspring. It did not matter if they were Aldawi and not his. From his research into humans, it seemed they, Circuli,and Aldawi had profoundly different cultural views about relationships, family dynamics, and offspring. He would do everything in his power to ensure the choice about what to do with her offspring would be hers. He just hoped neither CEG nor the Aldawi would take that decision away from her.
“Xylo, what are your thoughts about the fear-based threat displays from Selena? She mentioned she had never growled at—”
Chyox’s question was interrupted by the sound of the infirmary doors opening. Xylo turned to see Kaede stride in.
Kaede was a mystery to Xylo. His conforming black bodysuit covered him to his neck. His deep green cape flowed behind him as he marched into the room. On his left forearm, he wore a matching black armband—one that was clearly much newer tech than the wristbands the crew wore. Kaede’sDestiny-assigned band wrapped around his right wrist.
It unnerved Xylo that Kaede kept his face covered. The dark metallic visor wrapped around his head, and the cloth draped over his face made reading his facial expressions impossible. Xylo knew of no species with similar long and pointy tan ears or a pair of curving black horns. The fact Kaede refused to share his species with Xylo made his interest in Kaede rival how much he was interested in Selena and her offspring.
He was fascinated.
Kaede’s mind felt shielded like Selena's—Xylo could not sense any thoughts or feelings from him. He radiated danger. Someone Xylo did not ever want to cross—he had heard how ruthlessly Kaede killed and how good he was at it. Rumor had it, none of his targets had ever escaped him or his crew.
Though Kaede had appropriated a task that bonded males usually performed, Xylo was glad he had been assigned by the Aldawi to protect Selena. She could have no better protection.It was just something Xylo would need to come to terms with.
