Chapter Thirty-Five
Odelm
Odelm breathed a deep sigh of relief as his nestqueen’s emotions settled.
It took all of his restraint to prevent himself from leaving the pool and scooping her in his arms to try to calm her. He knew he could tell the princes were concerned too by how they kept glancing over to Selena, but they were stuck playing hosts to their guests.
Xylo had assured them that everything was fine and that their nestqueen needed to voice her concerns about them.
Slowly, over time, his bondbrother’s thoughts stilled as he fell into a peaceful slumber.
Scanning the backyard, he saw the others were gathered in the grass, laughing amongst each other, and having a good time. Taking it as a sign that it was okay for him to go to Selena and check up on her, he swam to the wall closest to the pavilion and walked out of the water. Odelm didn’t want to embarrass himself with failed attempts to climb out of the ledge, knowing his arms were weak and without his tentacles, he couldn’t use them for aid.
He knew it would take time for him to recover fully. To strengthen his muscles, he would need the time to do daily swims and regrow the muscle mass he had lost over the last few months.
As long as his nestqueen was nearby, stealing blushing glances his way as her spots turned a flirty pink, he knew he’d be fine.
Well, he didn’t understand how his nestqueen always believed he was attractive, but he wasn’t going to question it. Her favorite thing to do was to watch him climb out of the water and trace the droplets as they crawled along his skin. Then, as they fell, something about the sudden thoughts behind her hungry eyes had always given him the confidence he needed.
He may not have been able to climb out of the pool today—but hopefully, he would be able to do it soon so that he could witness his nestqueen become enthralled with him once more.
It would be the goal he would set for himself.
Not wanting to wait for the suns to evaporate the water from his skin, he followed his mental thread and walked over to where Selena sat beside his bondbrother on the couch.
Nodding at Zyxel, who pursed his lips in reply, Odelm sat behind his nestqueen and wrapped his arms around her, placing his hands on her stomach. Knowing that she was creating life and she didn’t realize it gutted him. He knew it was Kaede’s secret to tell, but he couldn’t stop himself from being both happy—and jealous—about the news.
“Selena,” he whispered into her ear. “What’s wrong?”
“Seeing the damage up close and touching it for the first time finally got to me,” she muttered, wiping her tears. “Neither of you deserved what happened to you.”
“And you didn’t deserve what happened to you either, Selena,” he countered, running a hand through her shortened hair. “We aren’t the only ones who had something horrific done to them. You can’t forget about yourself.”
“But I am fine,” she stressed, glancing over her shoulder with red eyes. “I’ve had a long time to cope with it all.”
“Have you?” Zyxel interjected from his pile of coils. “I saw how you handled yourself in the asteroid base and when your guard picked you up. Your main focus was to return here so you pushed aside your own traumas whenever they got in the way.”
“I needed to survive,” Selena hissed. “If I had allowed myself to think about what happened to me, I probably would’ve been on that blasted asteroid—or Kaede would’ve somehow found me and blown it up like he wanted.”
“Yes, but by compartmentalizing your traumas, you are ignoring them until they build up and become too much for you to handle,” Odelm replied, gripping her chin to force her to lock her deep blue-green eyes with his. “You can’t keep doing that to yourself. Just as you want us to be open about our feelings, you need to learn that it’s okay to take a moment to scream, cry, or whatever else you need to get it out of your system.
“Your nestmates aren’t the only ones injured. You were too. Same with Kaede. And Zirene was on the edge of spiraling. I understand that you are the focal point of our clan, but if we are failing to make sure that you are okay, then we have failed you as mates.”
Sighing, she closed her eyes and leaned forward. Odelm wrapped his arms around her, pressing her body against his.
She needed a hug—and he was willing to give it to her.
Focusing on their connection, he sent serene emotions and his love to her.
Their nestqueen may be strong, but she wasn’t invincible, no matter how much she wished she were. He knew she was trying to be the stable foundation that their clan needed, but he refused to be the reason she was beating herself up by blaming herself for what had happened.
Odelm knew he was partially to blame—especially with how he’d acted about waking up with no tentacles. His reaction to it all, plus the fact that the last conversation they’d had as a clan before all of this happened, was when he was hesitant in accepting Second from her.
He’d allowed his own despair, insecurities, and jealousy to blind him that his nestqueen was suffering—alone—behind the walls, she didn’t even know she had built.
“Let me know what I can do for you,”Odelm pathed.“What can I do to make this right?”
“Hold me.” She sobbed as she clung to him. “I need to feel you.”
