I squeezed her hand.
She took another breath. “They started fighting maybe six months in. He’d get mad at her when she did nothing wrong. Then I only ever heardhimyelling.” She swallowed. “Mama started wearing make-up, then.”
I gritted my teeth, forcing my hand not to squeeze too hard.
“In the beginning, he’d apologize. Flowers were her favorite. So he’d bring her these huge bouquets of lilies, even though he knew she loved roses. One more little power trip, I guess.” She gave a brief smile with no humor. “I can’t stand them now. The smell makes me ill.”
Winona hugged our entwined hands in her lap.
“The first time I saw a bruise, I called the cops. The boys were there by then, only babies, and I’d come to tell Mom Ryan had woken up and was hungry. I only saw because Iwalked in on her looking in the mirror. She quickly pulled her sweater up, said it was nothing.”
Winona drew her thumb over our joined knuckles. The expression in her eyes was haunted.
“So yeah, I called the cops. But they never came. They knew Adam; their brothers and uncles worked for him in the pulp mill. They were scared of him. After that…” she swallowed again. “He tried to go after me.”
I had to work to keep my hand steady. While a moment ago it had been sorrow, rage ripped through me now. I reached for the railing again, squeezing so tight I felt my knuckles pop.
“He didn’t get me though, at least not physically. The night he tried, Mama and I fought back. We ran, the boys in our arms. We were heading to her brother’s place. They hadn’t spoken since she and Adam got together, and he had next to nothing, but he’d put us up, we knew he would. But on our way, Mama fell. Just collapsed on the street. I had to catch Ryan so he didn’t hit his head.”
Winona bent down, head on her knees. “When I tried to help her, I saw what I’d been trying not to see for so long. She was so frail. Her hair was thinned to nothing. That’s what pains me the most now, Mitchell. That day I saw her bruises, I couldn’t believe how skinny she was. She’d been hiding everything from me, but I’d seen. I could have?—”
She choked.
“No,” I said, cupping her face. “We won’t blame ourselves for abuse perpetuated by others. I won’t let you blame yourself, Winona.”
That was more therapy talk. But it was what I’d needed to hear then, and what I needed her to know now.
Winona’s chin wobbled.
“I mean it, Winona.”
She nodded. Logically she understood. But I knew what it was like to not want to listen to logic. Especially when you’ddone such a great job of ignoring it for so long. I released her face, forcing myself not to pull her onto me again. To keep anyone from hurting her again.
“She had an illness that could have been treated,” Winona said. “But Adam wouldn’t let her see the doctor. Between that and the… the bruises he gave her, she never stood a chance.”
Winona ran her hands over her hair. I told her she didn’t have to continue, but she shook her head once more. Told me she’d gotten her mom to the hospital, but only saw her once. Adam said he’d take the boys, and her mom had told Winona to run.Run and never look back.
“My dad was American,” she said. “So we came here. He had this aunt here in Quince Valley who’d gone into a home, but left her house empty. We moved in and I made it livable until I could figure out the legal stuff.”
“How old were you?” I asked.
“I was fifteen when I left with my brothers to stay with my uncle. He didn’t even want those boys, but he still tracked me down. I was sixteen the day we crossed the border. It’s a miracle I got through without question.”
Winona had been a child. And she’d lost everything because of this man.
“Where is he now, Winona?”
“You going to put a hit out on him for me?” She laughed, though it wasn’t funny.
“I’m sure I could figure it out,” I said. I had no idea what that would entail, but money could get you pretty much anything. Hell, maybe I’d take care of it myself. I wasn’t a violent man, but nothing surprised me about myself anymore. Not when it came to Winona.
“Well, no need. He went away for embezzlement at the mill he ran soon after we left. He screwed over enough people there that it caught up to him in prison. My uncle told me he got the tar beat out of him, and when he got out, he gotcaught in some other scheme and went back to prison again, where to this day, I hear he rots.” Winona rubbed her forehead with her palm. “He didn’t get a single slap on the wrist for what he did to us. Or the other women I learned about later.”
She looked at me, her eyes filling once again. “It’s because of her I can’t drop what I’m doing. I made a promise to her that I’d live my best life and never uproot it for a man, no matter how…charming.” She laughed, but there was no smile in her voice. “Heartbreaker Trades is my dream. But it’s for her. Mama always wished she could have done more with her life for me. Make better choices. I need to show her I’m changing things for all women. To show her”—her voice cracked—“that she did good with me.”
My heart clenched. This woman. She was so fucking strong.
Winona glanced at the lone window in this room, a tall and narrow rain-streaked sheet of floor-to-ceiling glass that looked out onto the woods.
