Chapter 33
It’sbeen a while since C left me. I’ve been sitting here holding the two crystals. There’s not much to do besides pace and count. This room makes me want to slip back to when they left me here.
I have to keep telling myself that they’ll be back. B said I have another test tonight. That’s all these games are. They are tests, training, to make me like them. Plus, they fuck me every night, so they have to come back.
I’m pacing when the hatch opens, and a sandwich is passed through it with a bottle of water. Putting my crystals down on my table, Iwalk towards the door. “Who made the sandwich?” I ask, but I can’t see who it is on the other side.
“C made it, don’t worry, sweet cheeks, I didn’t touch it.”
I hesitate for a second but then take the food, moving to sit on my bed. “We are getting things ready, and will come get you soon.”
The hatch closes, leaving me alone again. I open the water and take a few sips while I try to figure out what is gonna happen.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop the anxiety from taking over.
1 Mississippi.
2 Mississippi.
3 Mississippi.
Alone.
Worthless.
Killers.
They are killers.
Will they kill me?
They want me to kill.
Kill.
Kill.
Kill.
Fuck.
Numbers.
1 Mississippi.
2 Mississippi.
3 Mississippi.
An hour or two must have passed because I fell asleep after I ate. My body is exhausted from everything that happened today. Gun training, sparing, the meltdown from cutting up a body.
I had scrubbed my hands and crystals clean after Sir C left. Though I can still feel the blood under my nails. Looking down at my hands, I notice only 2 gel nails.
They have grown out, but I’ve held on to them for dear life. It’s all I have left of myself. My old self. Since my isolation, I’ve earned nicer shower products but that was it.
Don’t forget the table and crystals.
They treat you well.
