“I think I’m tired.”He squeezed his eyes shut.“Can you take me to bed?”
“I can take you to your room, Raven.You’ll have to let go so that we both can walk easier, hmm?”
It hurt.It hurt to let go.He did it anyway.
His entire body was stiff, and he was scared to face Maxim, knowing he should explain.Not like I even understand what that was.All I know is I was scared he was going to be angry that we’d left without telling him.
“Did you have food while you were downstairs?”Maxim’s voice was as soft as his touch.He was close, so close any touch could have been explained away as accidental.But Maxim didn’t try to touch him.
“Yeah.”
“Not thirsty now?”
Raven shook his head.
“Where did the dog go?”
“Jason said he was going to take him for a walk, and Heath said maybe getting him groomed was a good idea.Jason said he was going to do that too.He said…he didn’t mind and I should stay here.Because it’s so bright outside.”
Maxim chuckled.“Did he?He’s probably right.Come, let’s head to your room.You want to try getting some sleep again?”
Raven nodded.He was tired now, more so than before, and there was a fogginess that seemed to be settling in his head.
Maxim walked with him until they arrived at the door to Raven’s guest room.It was bright in there now.It looked friendly, not like it had the night before, when Raven had thought he’d be able to sleep, but—
He glanced at Maxim, who’d stopped at the door, and wondered.It’s not like I have much to lose.
“What do you want to do with me?Why’re you… Am I going to be punished, or…?”
Raven wasn’t sure how to phrase it, wasn’t even entirely sure what to ask.
“Punished?What did you do that deserves punishment, Raven?”
Raven let out a breath, his legs feeling weak but holding him up.He wants my confession.I can do that much.Then it will be over.Then it’ll finally be over.
“Prof.LeRoux.I just watched.I did nothing.And—I already told you, I could’ve run.I could’ve screamed.There were times when they didn’t—he didn’t compel me all the time.He—th-there was breakfast.D-Daniel had toast and—they didn’t compel me.Daniel watched, and he kissed me, and I think I kissed him back, and then he poured me coffee and said I was a treat.I wasn’t compelled at all.I-I could’ve th-thrown the c-coffee in his face and…I could’ve-could’ve run and… That was before.Before Prof.LeRoux.I g-g-gave them…the address.You’re a hunter, and if you don’t want—I understand why you wouldn’t want me, but you’re a hunter.I understand there’s a reason I’m here.I’m not that dumb.”
“You won a scholarship on your own merit.You’re not dumb at all, Raven.If you’re up for it, would you like to go upstairs to my office?”
Raven nodded.He had no idea what was about to come, but he welcomed it.An end.It will finally be over.
They turned, which was when his legs decided they were done, and he stumbled.
“S-sorry.”
“That’s all right.You can lean on me.”
So Raven did, draping his arm around Maxim’s shoulders in what might have been a friendly way or even an intimate way in a different world.He had no idea what it meant now.Nothing seemed to mean anything anymore.He could no longer discern all the meaning in things, in gestures, just knew that he missed most of it.
They made it up the stairs, step by step.It wasn’t painful, but with every step, it increasingly felt as if Raven were floating into the air, getting pulled away from the world.
The upstairs was very different in the daylight.Light and shadow, rather than walls, divided the space, secluding the big shelf with the couch in front of it in indirect light while Raven could just about spot a seating area with what looked like a dinner table bathed in sunshine.The door Maxim led him to led to the office he’d seen the previous night.
Maxim guided him to the comfortable-looking desk chair.“Let’s sit you down here.There.Is that okay?”
Raven nodded.“S-sure.”
“Wonderful.Wait, I have a very big pen selection.Heath always buys me new ones because he thinks I’m losing them, but I don’t, really.Will you promise not to tell him?”
