The upstairs was big.A couch smaller than the one below sat in front of a bookshelf, opposite a window, clearly there to take advantage of the view.Paintings too.Raven wondered whether there was some sort of low, indirect lighting here, because even though it was night, everything stood out sharp and crisp to him.
He tried a door that turned out to be to an office, then closed it.The second room was a bedroom, the bedroom he wanted.He knew even before he’d really looked around because he could smell it, could smell Maxim’s scent.
Raven went inside and closed the door behind him.He saw the blond braid on the pillows, saw Maxim’s sleeping form.
So strange.Mom would be shocked if she knew he doesn’t sleep in a coffin.
Raven took a step toward the bed, then stopped, looking at what he was wearing.He began stripping.Maxim turned, the sheets moving as he did.
“Raven.Did you need anything?”Casual, didn’t sound sleepy.
Raven dropped his tee on the floor.“I… I’m here to… I’m here for…”
Maxim got out of bed.There was a moment there when Raven thought he knew what would come next: naked, pale form, erect, ready.Eager.Eager, eager, only stopping when they’re done.
Then the sheets slipped, and Maxim was wearing a pajama set, top and bottom, with cute little bats all over them.One of the bats had stolen a cookie and was flapping its wings, the cookie in its smiling mouth, eyes saucer big.
“Can’t sleep?Come on, let’s get you dressed.We can sit together or maybe take a walk.”
Maxim came over and picked up Raven’s discarded T-shirt.He frowned.“This is wet.Did you shower?”
“I…I’m clean.We can…we can do it.”He tried to take a steadying breath, but the air wouldn’t go into his lungs as he needed it to, something tight winding its way around his ribs.“You can…fuck me.It’s okay.It’s okay.”
“Ah.We’re not going to do that, Raven.It’s not why you’re here.”
Raven wasn’t sure what was happening, but he started trembling, badly.His heart began racing.He looked at the door.Didn’t know what to do.
“Shh,” Maxim said.“It’s okay.You’re not in trouble.No one is going to hurt you.You’re safe here.Nothing bad is happening.Nothing bad isgoingto happen to you.Can I hold your hands?”
Raven shook his head, no.He started the motion, aborted it, then nodded, nodded, thinking,Hold me, please.Strange thought.
“Okay.Okay.”Maxim took his hands, both of them.His were warm, Raven’s weren’t.They were shaking.“Are your pants wet too?They smell wet.Shh, that’s fine, you’re not in trouble.Everything’s fine.We’re going to find you dry clothes, okay?Then we’re going to get you warmed up.You’re very cold.Okay?”
Raven nodded.He couldn’t talk.His teeth were chattering.Couldn’t meet Maxim’s eyes either.
“Okay.I have sweatpants that might fit you.A sweater too.In the walk-in.We’re going to go in there, and I’ll show you the clothes.You have to change into them yourself.You’re not in trouble, Raven.Everything’s fine.We’re going to get you changed, and then we’re going to sit down and get you warmed up.That’s all we’re going to do.Okay?”
Raven nodded.He was beginning to feel stupid.I did something stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.What happens now?What did I do?What did I break?Stupid, stupid.
“Shh, shh.Come this way.I’ll find you a tissue.It’s okay to cry, Raven.You’re not in trouble, and nothing bad is happening.You’re safe here.Nothing bad is happening.”
Maxim kept talking.Just as well.Raven felt too stupid to say anything else.
Chapter 13
“S-sorry,reallysorry.”
It took Maxim’s vampire hearing to make out Raven’s voice amid the chattering of his teeth, weighted down by guilt and shame.
“Everything’s fine, Raven.You didn’t do anything bad, but you’re very cold.I’m worried about you being cold, and it can’t be comfortable.One thing after another, and dry clothes are first.”
Raven followed him into the walk-in.Maxim knew Raven might’ve followed him anywhere right now.That made it easier.It also made it worse.Nothing to be done about it.It’s all still fresh in his mind.
Maxim found a soft sweater as well as some sweatpants he’d never worn and put both on one of the empty shelves where Raven could reach them easily enough, where he’d not have to choose anything.Raven was still holding Maxim’s right hand with both of his, the grip tight.
“Raven?Raven.Lift your head and look at me?Just for a moment.”
Raven raised his head before looking off to the side, then toward the exit.Maxim had made sure not to block it with his body, standing in front of the shelves and leaving Raven a way to run if he needed to.Raven’s breathing was shallow yet rushed.Maxim could see it in the way his ribs stood out with every inhale, squeezed with every labored exhale.When he finally met Maxim’s gaze, his pupils were wide, eyes glassy.
