I sighed. “I’m sorry,” I said again. “For wasting your time.”
“You didn’t waste my time,” he insisted. “I like you.” He shrugged. “We’re just not going to sleep together.”
The server came by, and we asked for the check. I pulled out my wallet. “At least let me pay for dinner.”
“I won’t say no to a free meal.”
Since Brad drove us to the restaurant, he had to drive me home, which wasn’t awkwardat all. I started to apologize again when we got to my place, but he put up his hand. “It’s okay, Miguel. It didn’t work out. These things happen. At least you were honest with me. A lot of guys wouldn’t be.” He kissed my cheek. “Goodnight. And good luck with Zach. Try talking to him instead of trying to guess what he’s thinking.”
I waved my hand dismissively. “Pfft. Logic.”
After Brad drove away, I went upstairs to my apartment. I stood outside the door for a long moment, my heart racing and my palms sweaty. I couldn’t say why I was so nervous. I’d never felt like that about any other man before. I took a steadying breath and unlocked the door.
The lights were on in the apartment, but I didn’t see Zach right away. I didn’t hear anything either. Had he gone out? I toed off my shoes and went into the living room. I saw him sitting at his keyboard, which we’d set up in the corner of the room. He had headphones plugged into it and was playing. It was strange to see his fingers move on the keys with no sound coming out. Knowing him, he hadn’t wanted to disturb the neighbors.
I watched him for a little while. His mouth was turned down and his brow was deeply creased. I walked slowly into the room. I didn’t want to startle him, so I moved into his line of sight and waited for him to notice me. When he finally did, he startled anyway, and his eyes widened. He pulled off his headphones. “Miguel? What are you doing here?’
“My date ended early,” I replied. “We need to talk.”
I hated the look of resignation that came over his expression. “You want me to leave, don’t you?”
“What? No.” I closed my eyes and blew out a breath. Gesturing toward the sofa, I said, “Please, come sit.”
When he came more into the light, I noticed his eyes were red-rimmed like he’d been crying. He stopped and put his hands on the back of the armchair across from the sofa. “I’m sorry I was rude to your date.”
“That’s what I want to talk about. You’ve been weird about my dates for the past two weeks.” I gestured to the sofa again. “It’s why we need to talk.”
He looked so conflicted. I wanted to take him in my arms and hold him, but we’d never resolve anything if I didn’t make him talk to me. Zach sat down hard on the sofa and put his head in his hands. “I don’t know what to do,” he said plaintively.
I sat on the coffee table in front of him and gently took both his hands in mine. “Do about what? Talk to me, Zach.”
As I held his hands, I realized he was trembling. He looked at me with tears in his eyes. “I want…” He swallowed hard. “I want to kiss you.”
I stopped breathing for a moment. “You want to kiss me,” I repeated.
“Yeah,” he said hoarsely. “But I’m scared.”
I stiffened. “Scared? Scared you’re gay, or bi, or whatever, and you just want to try it out on me?”
Zach’s eyes widened and he pulled his hands from mine. “No,” he said vehemently. He spread his hands. “I’m scared because you’re you and I’m just me.”
He looked so lost and vulnerable. It just about broke my heart. “I don’t know what you mean by ‘just me.’”
He waved his hand up and down my body. “You’re smart and successful. You’re always so put together.” He looked down at his big hands. “I’m just a mechanic. I’m scruffy and messy. My hands never get completely clean, no matter how much I scrub them.”
My heart squeezed.Oh, baby. I took his hands in mine again. “Listen to me, ‘just me.’ You’re one of the best people I know. I’ve seen these hands that never get clean gently holding Cody like a precious treasure. You are sweet and gentle and kind.” I looked right into his beautiful blue eyes. “I would very much like to kiss you, but only if this isn’t some experiment on your part. I won’t do that.”
Zach looked taken aback. “Experiment? People do that?”
I nodded. “Yes. And it sucks.”
His expression softened. “I’m sorry that happened to you.” He swallowed hard. “I don’t want this to be an experiment between us. I’ve been thinking about it since before I moved in. I didn’t realize what it was at first. But then you started going out with all those other guys.” He blew out a breath. “I just about lost my mind. I talked to Allie about it on Sunday while you were on your date, and she talked me through it.”
“And she was okay with it?” I asked.
“Yeah.” He smirked. “She didn’t even seem surprised.”
I grinned. Chalk one up for perceptive sisters. “Well, since we’re sharing secrets, I should probably tell you that I’ve wanted to kiss you since that day Carlos came to the hotel.”
