CHAPTERTWENTY-FIVE
MIGUEL
What just happened? I watched Zach’s retreating back and couldn’t shake the sadness that overtook me.
“Is everything okay?” Brad asked from behind me.
“I don’t know,” I replied. “What did he say to you?”
“He asked who I was. Well, demanded, really. He seemed excited about something when he came in—until he saw me.”
Well, shit. Today had been Zach’s last day at his old job. He’d probably wanted to celebrate with me. I stared at Zach’s closed bedroom door. We would have to talk later. It occurred to me that maybe we were both confused. I’d thought for sure Zach would say something to me after reading the books he borrowed. But he never did. I had assumed he’d discovered gayness wasn’t his cup of tea after all. Now, I didn’t know what to think.
“Are you ready to go?” Brad asked.
I wanted to say no. I wanted to stay and find out what Zach was thinking. But that wasn’t fair to Brad. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
We went to a popular restaurant in Asbury Park for dinner. It was crowded since it was Friday night, and the weather was nice. Brad was nice. Dinner was nice. Ugh. Everything wasnice. But I couldn’t stop thinking about Zach and the expression on his face before he turned away from me. He had looked so defeated.
I tried to push thoughts of Zach out of my mind and enjoy my time with Brad. We talked about our jobs—he was a therapist—our favorite movies, and where we’d like to go on vacation. I had a second drink, hoping it would help me relax and be more conversational. I really wanted to give Brad a chance. Maybe. Probably. Or maybe I wanted to believe I was giving Brad a chance because I was scared, no, terrified of taking a chance on the man I really wanted.
Brad, bless him, put up with my nonsense far longer than he should have. Finally, he smiled sadly and put his hand over mine. “How about you tell me about Zach?”
I blinked. “What?”
“I know you’re trying, but you’re not really here. You’re back in your apartment wondering what’s bothering Zach.”
I let my head fall back with a groan. “Shit. I’m so sorry.”
“So, what? Is he an ex-boyfriend or something?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No. Zach is…” I sighed. “Probably isn’t straight.”
His mouth quirked up in a half-smile. “They never are.”
“Well, I thought he was for the longest time. Then he started telling me my makeup looked nice and my clothes looked nice. And then he started reading gay romance novels. But he still hasn’t said a word to me one way or the other. Now I’m just confused.”
“Would it help if you talked about it?”
“But that’s not fair to you,” I said. “We’re supposed to be on a date.”
Brad spread his hands out. “I’m pretty sure the date was over a little while ago. Why don’t we see if we can be friends.”
I couldn’t tell if I was more embarrassed or relieved. “That’s very nice of you. I wouldn’t mind an objective opinion.”
“Let’s order dessert first,” he said with a grin. “Then I’m all ears.”
True to his word, Brad listened intently while I poured out the story of my straight-boy crush. Though recent evidence would say Zach wasn’t as straight as I originally thought.
When I finished speaking, Brad stared at me thoughtfully. Finally, he said, “I think you’ve been unconsciously avoiding noticing the changes because you’re afraid to get your hopes up.”
I pursed my lips and furrowed my brow. “How did you know I was just thinking that?”
He tilted his head and smiled. “Therapist, remember? I’m good at reading people.”
“Apparently, I suck at it,” I complained.
Brad shook his head. “I don’t think you do. That’s why you’ve been somewhere else tonight.”
