I threw up my hands. “I don’t even know if he’s interested in me that way.”
Allie smirked. “Oh, he’s interested. I’ve seen him watching you when you aren’t looking at him. He likes you. But he thinks you’re straight. He won’t make a move unless you tell him something different. That’s how gay men get hurt or even killed.”
My gut twisted. “I didn’t think of that. Of course he would be scared to do anything. But he has to know I’d never hurt him.”
“I’m sure he knows you wouldn’t hurt him physically, but emotionally is another story.”
I thought about that. I could see Miguel worrying about making me uncomfortable and maybe losing my friendship. I closed my eyes. “I don’t know what to do. He’s going out on dates now. Why would he take a chance on a guy who’s just figured out he’s not as straight as he thought he was?”
Allie sighed impatiently. “You’ll never know if you don’t try.”
“Yeah. Okay. You’re right. I’ll think of something. I hope.”
CHAPTERTWENTY-TWO
MIGUEL
My lunch date on Sunday was fine. Eric was nice. He seemed to like me and didn’t seem to care that I was wearing makeup. Our conversation touched on all sorts of topics but nothing in-depth. I went home feeling meh. No spark. No zing. Of course it could have been because the whole time I was with Eric, I was seeing Zach’s face when I told him I had a date. His expression had told me he was hurt and trying hard to hide it. It was all so confusing. To be fair, it was probably confusing for Zach too. But I would not make the first move. I couldn’t.
When I got back to our apartment, Zach was alone. He was in his bedroom unpacking and putting his clothes in the closet. He had classic rock playing from a Bluetooth speaker connected to his phone. I knocked on the doorframe to let him know I was there. He turned, and the smile he gave me made my stomach swoop. “Hey, Miguel.” But then his expression clouded over when he asked, “How was lunch?”
I had not imagined that he was unhappy about me going on a date. That little spark of hope grew brighter. I shrugged. “It was okay.”
“Just okay?” He frowned. “He didn’t give you a hard time about wearing makeup, did he?”
God, I wanted to hug him for being so protective. I shook my head. “No. He was nice.”
His brows rose. “Nice. Just nice?”
I walked into his room. “Yes. I mean, there was nothing wrong with him. There was just no chemistry.”
“Oh. Okay.” He turned away to hide a small smile. I couldn’t even be mad at him. I just wished he would stop sending me mixed signals.
“Want some help?” I asked.
His eyes lit up. “Sure.”
I gestured to my outfit. “I’ll just change and be right back.”
I changed into workout pants and a T-shirt and didn’t miss the appreciative stare Zach gave me when I returned to his room. He blushed when I caught him looking. I pretended not to notice and began helping him unpack his clothes.
We filled up his closet and dresser drawers. I got to see Zach’s Army uniform for the first time. I also saw a bunch of medals that he glossed over. Then something occurred to me. “Were you ever in combat?” I asked.
A shadow passed over Zach’s expression. “Yeah. I was deployed twice overseas: Afghanistan in 2015 and Kosovo in 2019. It wasn’t great. We were also sent as support to Florida after Hurricane Maria.”
“Were you ever hurt?” I asked, not sure I wanted to know the answer.
Zach shook his head. “No. At least nothing bad. But I saw plenty of people get hurt, and we lost a few people.”
“Oh,” I said. “That’s…I’m sorry.”
He gave me a sad smile. “Thanks.”
“Do you like being in the Army?” I asked.
“I do.” After a pause, he added, “But I’m thinking of getting out. They’re talking about another deployment next year, this time to Iraq. I don’t think I want to do that again.”
“I don’t blame you,” I said. “And anyway, I would worry about you the whole time you were gone.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “So, you can’t go.”
