“You did? That’s great. Did you like seeing your daddy?”
Cody nodded vehemently. “He’s nice. He haslotsof tattoos. More than Uncle Zach.”
“Wow. Did you show him your pictures?”
“Yes. He was sad about Mommy.”
“Well, guess what?” I said. “Diego and Emma are going to be here for your birthday.”
He started jumping up and down. “Yay!”
Zach picked him up. “Let’s get you cleaned up and ready for your party. Then you can watch a movie.” He kissed my cheek. “Thank you.”
I ordered pizza and got out the Batman paper plates, cups, and napkins I’d gotten at the party store. I had beer and wine for the adults and juice boxes for the kids. I stood and laughed at myself. Who would have figured I’d be so domestic? I just hoped it would be a happy memory for Cody to hold on to amid all the sadness.
Cody was vibrating with excitement by the time the first guests arrived. Pretty soon, the kids were gathered around the television watchingMoanabecause Cody was being nice to Emma. The adults were hanging out in the kitchen with their frosty adult beverages, talking quietly and enjoying the calm before the storm.
Cody loved his cake and was polite when he opened his presents. Everything was great until he asked, “Did Mommy make my cake?”
I looked over at Zach, who closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh. “No, Cody. She can’t make your cakes for you.”
His bottom lip trembled and tears welled up in his eyes. “I want Mommy to make my cake.”
Zach picked him up and held him close. “I know you do. I do too. I miss Mommy very much.”
He arched his back, trying to pull away from Zach. “No! I want Mommy to make my cake! I want Mommy to make my cake!”
Zach took Cody into our bedroom while the adults stood around, trying not to cry in front of the rest of the children. We could all hear Cody’s screams and sobs, even through the closed bedroom door.
Isabella pulled me aside. “Are you bringing him to the wake tomorrow?”
I nodded. “For a little while. We hired his babysitter to come, and she’s going to take him outside if it gets to be too much for him.”
“Are you sure it’s a good idea to bring him?” she asked.
“We think it will be okay,” I replied. “It’s a closed casket because we agreed it was too morbid and would only confuse Cody. He picked some of the pictures we’re using in the room, so I think he’ll want to see them.”
She nodded. “Okay. I’ll be there tomorrow too. If you need it, I can bring him back here to play with Diego.”
I kissed her cheek. “That’s so sweet of you. Thank you.”
The adults helped me clean up while the kids watched another movie. Zach and Cody hadn’t come back by the time everyone left. I locked the door and turned out all the lights. Our bedroom light was still on, and I slowly opened the door and stood in the doorway, taking in the scene before me.
Zach was asleep with his arms curled protectively around his nephew. The thumb of one of Cody’s hands was in his mouth while the other tightly clutched the fabric of Zach’s Henley. The framed picture of Allie lay beside Cody on the bed.
My heart fluttered and swelled. Realization hit me like a bolt of lightning. I loved Zach. I wasin lovewith Zach. All my talk of wanting to keep him forever—I almost laughed out loud. Did they give awards for the most oblivious idiot?
If I were being honest with myself, I’d been in love with Zach almost from the beginning. His sweet nature had wrapped itself around my heart from the moment he reached out to comfort me. Warmth filled me and a feeling of peace came over me. I was finally where I belonged.
I went over to Zach’s sleeping form and kissed his cheek. He drew in a breath and his eyes fluttered open. He turned his head toward me and smiled sleepily. “Hey,” he croaked. “What time is it?”
“Almost nine,” I answered. “Everyone’s gone.”
He rubbed his face. “Shit. I’m sorry. I just couldn’t get Cody to calm down.”
I shook my head. “It’s fine. Everyone understood. Cody’s going to have a rough go of it for a very long time.”
He gently pulled his shirt out of Cody’s grip. “I should at least get him into pajamas.”
