I leaned back and blew out a long breath. “That’s a really short turn-around time. Are you sure you’re going to get people to come?”
He gave me a cocky smile. “Not only will they come, but I guarantee they’ll pay a lot of money to do so. They’ll want to be the first to see my return to the stage.”
I shook my head and chuckled. “All right, you’ve sold me. I have one condition though.”
His brow furrowed. “What’s that?”
“You have to let my mother come for free.”
He grinned from ear to ear. “Of course, she can come. I promised I’d play for her.” He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “You know, maybe we can ask your friend’s fiancé, the violinist, to play before I go on.”
“Well, you’re in luck,” I said, “We’ll be seeing them tonight at Reilly’s—if you want to go.”
Jeremy’s body language changed in an instant. He looked the same as he had the first time I saw him—hesitant, unsure of himself.
“Hey, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”
“I want to go,” he said quietly. “I really want to go, but I don’t drink. I can’t drink.”
He closed his eyes for a moment and clenched his jaw. When he opened them again, he looked me right in the eye. “I like you, Sean—a lot. And I would love to see where this goes with us. But there are things you should know about me before you decide if I’m worth your time.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but he shook his head to stop me. “I’m an addict.”
His bleak expression hurt my heart. I got up from my chair and came around to kneel beside his. I took his hands in mine. “I kinda figured that out already.”
TWENTY-TWO
JEREMY
“You did?” I wasn’t sure if what I felt was shock or relief. “How?”
Sean rose and held out his hand to me. “Let’s get a little more comfortable.”
He led me to his comfy couch, sat in the corner of it, and pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me.
“First of all,” he said, “I’m ridiculously happy that you like me enough to want to see where this goes with us.” He tightened his hold and kissed my temple. A lump formed in my throat at that simple, tender gesture.
“And second?” I prompted.
“Your drink,” he answered. “My dad was an alcoholic. He had more than twenty years sober when he died. He used to order that drink all the time when he was out with his buddies. I think sometimes he was ashamed that he couldn’t just have a drink now and then without everything going to hell.”
I sighed softly. “Alcohol was not my drug of choice.” My stomach tightened with anxiety at the thought of telling this man my shameful secret.
“After the accident and the shoulder surgery, the doctors prescribed me Oxycodone for the pain and Xanax for anxiety and sleep. Even after I wasn’t in pain anymore, I kept taking them. The possibility of losing my career sent me over the edge, and I just wanted not to feel anything. I hid it from everyone—even Evan. When my doctor told me I could play again, I was ecstatic. Juilliard asked me to do a benefit concert not long afterward, so I agreed.” I stopped talking as the memories of that terrible day came flooding back.
Sean pulled me closer. “You don’t have to explain anything to me, you know.”
I shook my head. “But I do. It’s only fair that you know what you’re dealing with when it comes to me.”
I felt him press his lips to the top of my head, and I wanted to cry at how sweet he was. “Okay,” he said.
I pulled myself together so I could finish my story. I sank more deeply into his warmth before I began. “When I started practicing for the concert, I realized I was having trouble with my memory. I was stumbling through pieces I should have been able to play in my sleep. I finally figured out that the drugs were affecting my ability to play, so I started to cut back on them. When I didn’t take them for a few hours, I’d have some clarity, but then the withdrawals would start, and I’d have to take more.” I paused, hearing my therapist’s voice encouraging me to be honest. “The day of the concert, I didn’t take anything.”
“Oh shit,” Sean murmured.
“No kidding,” I said. “I hid my withdrawals as best I could, but I felt awful by the time I sat at the piano to begin the concert.” I swallowed hard. “I made it about halfway through and then blacked out. They told me I had a seizure. I don’t remember. I just remember waking up in the ER at Mount Sinai and hearing the doctors talking about detox and calling in a psych consult.”
I felt my body tremble with the memory of what happened next. Sean must have noticed because he pulled me up until I was practically on his lap and just held me tight.
