It was Wednesday night and I was on my own in my flat for the first time since Harriet had left. The place felt empty and cold, even though the heating was on, and I was under a pile of blankets with a book, one I’d picked up from Silversmiths at the opening. My pub dinner with Carter had gone well, better than Monday when I’d been bested at bowling by the others. Harriet had joined us for part of it via video call, which stopped us from feeling like something was completely missing, and we’ve survived that first outing without her being physically present.
Tuesday had been without a hiccup. We had a shared patient at work and Carter and I were disagreeing on her treatment programme; I was advocating for her to go home and for her parents to bring her in if she deteriorated; Carter wanted her kept in on a sectioning order so she couldn’t discharge herself. It was a disagreement we’d probably have every few months, and we were well into our burgers before we agreed to park it because someone else would be making the decision because we were both now off shift.
It had felt like any other time when we’d been out for something to eat, only he’d never played with my fingers before,and I’d never ran my foot up his leg in a restaurant either. The touching was new and I liked it, I wanted more, the anticipation sweet and tortuous.
He hadn’t come back to mine, neither of us had suggested it. As much as I wanted more of that touch, I needed to not let us rush into so much we burned out this flame and headed into the sedentary fields of a relationship too soon. I said as much, knowing I needed to hold some boundaries, just like I’d advise my clients.
I was engrossed in my book, soft music playing in the background so the flat didn’t feel as empty, and I didn’t recognise the buzzer the first time, or maybe even the second. I did notice it when it was pressed for about ninety seconds solid, during which I fought my way out of my blanket pile, put my bookmark at the right point and checked my reflection in the mirror near the door because there was always a chance I looked like Hiawatha.
I only vaguely looked like I’d been dragged through a bush backwards I was pleased to note. Laurie was on the other side of the door, looking about as kept as I was.
I opened up and was immediately presented with a gorgeous special edition copy of Little Women.
“I thought you’d like this. It’s a gift.”
I let her in, captivated by the book now in my hands. “You really didn’t need to.”
“Oh, I know, but I have extra copies and I thought you’d appreciate it. Carter told me you had bookshelf space. I hope you don’t mind me coming round; Fallon gave me your address.” She followed me through to the kitchen.
“Would you like a brew?” I remembered what she’d said about the word. “A cup of tea?”
“If it’s not too much trouble. I have something else to give you as well.” She didn’t look as confident now.
“It’s not to do with the annulment, is it? My heart rate increased as if I was about to end a hundred metre sprint.
“No, that’s all in hand. There won’t be any surprises.” She rested against the kitchen units. “It’s a gift, but a weird one.”
“What is it?”
“The man who was at the opening of Silversmiths – my grandfather’s business acquaintance – gave me a present for getting married. It’s a night at the Ritz in a luxury suite.” She watched me carefully. “I thought about having a night of decadence there, then figured there’d be something sweet about you and Carter using it.” She dug an envelope out of her oversized bag and put it on the worktop.
I wasn’t sure what to say so I just stood there, holding a spoon and a tea bag.
“I hope you don’t think it’s an overstep.”
I shook my head. “No, no – are you sure you don’t want to use it?”
“Not at all. Without being funny, if I wanted a night at the Ritz, I could pay for it myself now. In fact, I was going to treat myself to a night away after the start at Silversmiths, but I’m going to go to Stratford instead.”
“And see Harriet?”
“And all these books. I can be a tourist for a few hours, and that sounds rather awesome. You have the Ritz. I’m not sure what your take on it will be, it’s all Louis XVI style and it’ll probably be completely over the top, but it’ll be an experience.”
I was grateful she didn’t make references to what might distract Carter and me from the décor.
“If you’d rather take Fallon or Erin, or the three of you, then do. It’ll be big enough for a party, I imagine, so don’t think you need Carter as your plus one. I just thought there was something symbolic about it being you and him.” She looked like she was worried she’d offended me, which she absolutely hadn’t.
“Thank you – I’ll definitely use it.” I put the tea bag in the mug. “I’ll think about who I take. How are things at the shop?”
“Amazing. I genuinely didn’t think it would be this successful this early on. We’ve passed all the upper targets I set for the first few weeks. I knew it would work because the model in New York has been so successful, but I didn’t expect how well.”
“What’s the next step?” I’d been in Silversmiths yesterday, not being able to help myself. Laurie hadn’t been around, which hadn’t mattered; I’d still lost myself in there for half an hour and bought a couple of hardbacks, with the excuse they’d cheer me up after Harriet moving.
She paused, thinking. “The apartment upstairs is habitable now, but I want to buy a house so my sister can come over in the fall. That’s important. But I’ve seen a shop near St Paul’s that I think would be amazing. There’s more storage space for all the subscription boxes too.” She shook her head. “Sorry, I’m probably boring you with all this, aren’t I?”
“No, I find it interesting. Have you heard from your family since the wedding?” I was curious as to what was happening there.
“I haven’t spoken to them, but I don’t expect to, apart from my sister, who’s aware of what the plan was. I’m not their problem anymore, thank fuck.”
