“Maybe.” I wasn’t sure.
“I always wondered whether none of your relationships worked because none of them could live up to Carter.”
“None of my relationships worked because I always go out with idiots.” Which was the only headline needed.
Harriet stood up, picking up her mug and taking my empty one. “True. Are you going to help me pack?”
I nodded, standing also. “I want to check you’re not nabbing anything of mine.”
Closure. This was closure of an era and helping her pack would help process it, not that we’d end up doing much packing.
I left the photo of me and Carter on the table, trying not to think about that day. Yes, that’d been the moment when I’d first fallen in love, not that I’d told anyone.
Especially Carter.
CHAPTER 6
Rose
Erin moved in different circles to the rest of us, which was evident from the collection of people at her birthday party. She’d hired out the top floor of a bar that looked over the Thames, a space that managed to be warm despite floor to ceiling windows on three sides and a wraparound veranda that was amazing in summer, if you could get on the guest list.
But Erin knew people who knew people, who probably also knew people, which meant she could book this place without breaking a sweat. I was here later than planned, my shift running over which was always going to happen, and I’d wanted to take more time getting ready, because Erin’s circles included fashion journalists and clothes designers and people who always managed to look put together without having made an effort.
I knew they would’ve made an effort. I had the sense to know that it took more than a quick flick of a hairbrush and some eyeliner, but for me, it took about three hours to achieve anything close to the same effect, and tonight I’d had a grand total of forty-five minutes, which also included a shower to rinse of the eau de hospital I’d brought home with me.
So I decided to stick to the shadows.
Fallon was busy chatting up a model who was one of Erin’s guests, which provided the entertainment for me. Harriet had bumped into someone she knew and was engaged in a conversation about American politics, which I had no interest in joining. I perched on a bar stool which was near a heater and sipped at my French martini, people watching, which was my favourite sport. There was tall man that I knew Erin had a few dates with once who was doing his best to get conversation out of a woman who I figured was a model. Erin was surrounded by two of her colleagues, trying to break away from them and not being successful.
I was just about to head over to Erin to give her a hand escaping when the molecules in the air shifted and I looked automatically to the door.
It wasn’t just me who’d noticed. The model who’d been chatted up had seen as well, and something sunk inside me.
People noticed Carter. Women noticed Carter. And Carter was here now, looking windswept and unshaven, his thick hair sticking up but still managing to look cool.
I stayed put on my seat and watched him, half hiding my face behind the martini glass. He already knew a couple of people, a man patting him on the arm, and a woman giving him a hug before being reclaimed by her boyfriend. Carter found Erin, and did the job I was going to, embracing her and kissing her cheek, before handing her a gift bag. There were more words, but my lipreading wasn’t that good, so I tried to focus on someone else instead, although my thoughts were elsewhere.
This reaction I now seemed to have to Carter was new. I was nervous about seeing him, which I had been before, especially when I’d been in my mid-teens and half in love with him.
Or maybe fully.
I wanted him to be over here speaking to me, and I didn’t at the same time. I wanted to know more about what he’d been upto in America, why he hadn’t told me he was coming back, and everything else that was in his head, because I’d never been quite able to get in there.
A familiar scent hit me.
“Rosie.”
Carter Collins. He’d been wearing the same cologne since he was seventeen. My cheeks felt too hot and my seat no longer stable.
“Carter. Harriet said you were trying to make it.”
He put his hand on my shoulder and moved closer to kiss me on the cheek like he’d done with Erin.
“I should’ve been here earlier but ended up with an emergency. You look good.” He shot me a smile that I’d rather he’d saved.
“Thank you. In a rush as always so I’m sticking to the shadows. I always forget the sort of people Erin works with.” I looked around the room, trying to take Carter’s attention off me.
It didn’t work. It never did with him.
