“Whose heart are you breaking at the moment then?” I asked her. Fallon’s sex life was more entertaining that a reality TV programme.
She swirled her wine. “The landlord of the bar near the hospital, although I don’t think his heart’s at risk. I also had a night with a musician last weekend – remember the one we met the other month?”
“Nick?” I remember him. I’d been out with Fallon the night she’d met him, in a bar in Notting Hill. I’d met a man who I’d since been on a few dates with the same night, although we hadn’t arranged anything for nearly two weeks and I wasn’t sure I’d be bothering to contact him.
“Nick.” She shifted suddenly. “Did I tell you Tally’s boyfriend caught her cheating with his brother?”
“What?” That was Erin.
“Noooo.” Harriet. “Why would she do that?”
“Have you seen his brother?” Fallon placed her glass down and started to tell the tale.
I half listened, already knowing this piece of gossip because Tally, who was Fallon’s younger sister, was a trainee at my family’s law firm, and my cousin, Eliza, had been full of the goings on the night before. It was all very busy and I was hitting the quota of people I could deal with for a week, especially since we’d just had Christmas and all I wanted to do was hibernate.
My family was big, expansive and noisy. I had three younger siblings – technically half, but that detail wasn’t really relevant – and our dad was one of seven. My aunts and uncles had produced a plethora of offspring, and my originally very quiet and calm childhood had exploded into a cacophony of never knowing a moment’s peace since. Which wasn’t great when you identified as a character in a Jane Austen novel, and paid the bills by being a psychologist, a career that unhelpfully involved people.
“Rose? Rose, are you listening?” Fallon’s voice sliced through thoughts of what my cousins were up to and whether I was about to miss someone’s birthday.
“Not really.” I sat back and smiled. My friends were used to me – that was what happened when you met on the same ward and it became a five-night sleepover, just with a few medical interventions to keep things interesting.
Fallon’s brows raised. “Did you hear what I said about Carter?”
I sat up, back straighter, muscles tense. “Carter? As in our Carter?”
“That would be the one.” She didn’t look amused. “Do you already know and you’ve not told us?”
“Told you what?” I had zero clue what she was going on about.
“When’s the last time you heard from him?”
I felt as if I was a mouse that’d been circled by cats. The three of them were staring at me as if I'd grown a second head.
I had to think when it was. Earlier last year, Carter and I were in touch most days, the time difference the only thing that slowed down our responses. He was over in the States, finishing a residency before deciding where he was going to be located permanently. I was in London, with no chance of moving away because I loved the city too much, and also didn’t see the need for change unless it was necessary.
“I haven’t heard from him since the start of December – apart from a text on Christmas Day.” Which was odd, and I had noticed it – I’d just been too busy with work and another of Eliza’s crises to pay it much attention.
I saw the exchange of looks between my friends. Fallon’s black eyes didn’t even try to be discreet; Harriet looked uncomfortable and tried not to make eye contact with me; Erin picked her finger, a habit of her lifetime.
“What?”
“Maybe he wanted to surprise you.” Harriet hugged a cushion, one that announced she had no more fucks to give.
“Carter, surprise me?” I shook my head. “I know I’m being dense so can someone just switch a lightbulb on?” I was getting anxious now – not knowing things bothered me. I needed the facts so I could feel in control.
“He’s moving back to London.” It was Fallon who broke the news. “Next month. I thought you knew.”
I stilled, breathed, let my adult self take a pause. Rose the child would have a dozen questions about when, what, how exactly, and then another two dozen about why Carter hadn’t told her himself. The adult psychologist had learned to breathe.
“I didn’t know, but I guess we’ve both been busy. How did you all find out?” I let my shoulders relax and I put my wine glass down. I’d had enough anyway.
The wine consumption had whittled down anyway, none of us big drinkers. I gave it about ten minutes before someone put the kettle on for a brew.
“Fallon told me,” Harriet said, happily throwing Fallon under the bus. “Then I forgot. I’ve got something I need to tell you all as well.”
“You’re getting married?” Erin whipped her head round.
Harriet shook her head and folded her arms. “Really?”
