“In Puffin Bay. There’s land for sale up past my old house – Gully’s place. It has planning permission for residential already so I could design my own home with a recording studio and an annex if I want to get anyone out here to record. That’s one of the things we talked about at book club.” Her feet locked around my leg. “Would you want me living here?”
“It would be different.” I wasn’t sure how to properly answer that. Seeing her more would be great, but it wouldn’t be a holiday anymore. “Good different.”
“I thought you’d be more enthusiastic.” She didn’t smile. “If you’d rather I didn’t, then I won’t. I know this is your special place.”
“It’s yours as well, but would it be less special if you were here all the time?” We had families who came to Puffin Bay every year for a holiday, some parents who’d themselves come here as kids and now brought their own children. It was a place where you created memories and held a sweet spot of an escape from real life.
“You’re right. It would be different. We’d argue more but I’d still look forward to seeing you and I don’t think I can ever get used to the sea and being out there on the boat.” She sat up and walked to the window, pulling open the curtains. This room looked out over the beach to the sea, all of which was in darkness now, just a couple of dots of light on the water where boats were resting for the night.
“See how you feel after a month or so of being here. That’s the longest you’ve ever stayed since that summer.”
She got back in bed. “You’re right. I don’t need to rush into anything. But it’s an idea though.”
“It is.”
She cuddled into me, me still lying on my back, my arm under her and my hand playing with her hair. The distance between us created by our jobs and the differences in our lifestyles had been what’d stopped me from ever wanting more than friendship.
If she was here, what would that mean?
Could we be more?
October, Twelve Years Ago
“I need to ask you a favour.”
We were on my boat and I was just about to moor up at Beaumaris so we could go and get some dinner. It’d been a perfect autumn day and I hadn’t had any classes or tutorials because of something else that was going on at college, so we’d been over to Bangor and walked down the pier, before rambling across Newborough beach and over to Llandwwyn Island where Zoey had become obsessed with the saint of that place and started writing a song about her.
“Ask away. Doesn’t mean I’ll agree.” I put my arm around her shoulders and hugged her into me.
She didn’t respond straight away, which I’d been expecting, along with a request to climb Snowdon or something in the morning or take the ferry over to Dublin. When I caught a glance of her pretty face, I saw she was nervous.
“What’s the favour then?”
“I’m so embarrassed asking you this. Will you take my virginity? I know it’s out of the blue and it’s a weird request and - ” She stopped walking and looked around. “Crap. That was loud. Do you think anyone heard?”
“It’s the end of October. Everyone with any sense is in a pub or a shop.” Because it was bloody freezing only I didn’t feel cold right now. “I don’t think anyone heard you.”
“Good.” Silence again. “Did you hear me?”
“Yes.” Everything in my head felt swimmy.
“Have I just made things weird? I didn’t mean to make things weird I just thought if my first time was with you I could have a good memory with it and if I met someone I wouldn’t feel like I was too inexperienced to do anything, but I get it, you know, if you don’t see me like that and you don’t want to and that’s fine.” The word vomit flew out of her mouth just before the café door opened.
It was a diner, an American style restaurant that did the best burgers, and I was absolutely famished, or at least I had been.
I was eighteen and a walking ball of hormones. My brain consisted of thoughts about sex, food and a small fraction of any other interests, and Zoey was gorgeous.
“Table for two?” The waitress smiled at us. “There’s a cosy table at the back.”
“That’s great. Thank you.” Zoey managed to speak.
I followed them between the tables, not paying much attention to who else was in the place because my head was still swirling with Zoey’s request.
She looked worried when we sat down, stealing little glances at me while I ordered a milkshake, and she got a juice.
As soon as the waitress left, menus open on the table for us to look at, she gently kicked my foot.
“Just say no if you don’t want to, Cay.”
