In other news, the dating agency has definitely been better than the apps. I went out with a man about a month ago – yes, I have kept this quiet – and things are going amazingly well. He’s about six years older than me. He’s a financial director in a medium sized company but he’s looking to progress, not that that’s relevant. He’s fun and clever and kind and we laugh a lot. We’ve just seemed to click and not in an over the top too much too soon way which waves red flags.
He's called Theo and I think I could fall in love with him.
I’ve met his sister and she’s really nice. She hinted that he’s never liked anyone as much as me before, which made me feel warm and fuzzy inside and yeah, it’s good. Really good.
I think you’d get along with him and if things carry on like this, I really want you to meet each other.
He’s cool about my job too and isn’t worried about me being away for work or that I’m working with male models at the moment (who wouldn’t be my type anyway). When I’ve been away we’ve spoken most days when he’s been getting ready to meet friends or just at home watching crap on TV. I definitely feel different about him than anyone else I’ve met.
I need to have the baby conversation with him. Obviously, it’s something I want and it’s viable and all set up, but it won’t be conventional and it won’t be straightforward. It’ll be clinical and involve more hospital visits rather than simply getting knocked up on holiday after too many margaritas.
That’s going to be a deal breaker and I am nervous about that conversation, which I’d rather have sooner than later.
How’s Alisandra? Let me know when you’re in London next and we can meet up – I’m cross at the idea you’ve been here, and we haven’t seen each other. I haven’t been to Puffin Bay either, not since Ivy’s funeral and I really should visit. Maybe I’ll come with Theo and you can meet there.
My new home is really taking shape. I chose not to move with loads of stuff, starting from scratch with everything but the most expensive items, like a sofa and bed, although eventually I’ll get new of those too. I wanted something different than before, maybe I’m trying to reinvent myself but I don’t think that’s the case as I liked the person I was even though I wasn’t perfect. I think I’m just in a different era because losing Ivy and my parents in such a short space of time has changed me. It has made me more self-sufficient. It’s made me more independent.I don’t think that’s a bad thing especially because I haven’t forgotten how to trust people and let them in.
We’re not guaranteed forever with any person, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the minutes we do have.
Jesus, I’ve just read that back and realised how deep I got there. Wow. Let’s change the track.
I read an article about Finn’s brewery last week – it was getting some really good reviews. I’ve also noticed the bar round the corner from my home is selling his spring special and I heard someone commenting on what a good pint it was. I’ll see if I can get Theo to try it next time we go out there.
What are the details for Amelie and Roman’s wedding? Are they eloping or getting married in Puffin Bay? I could see either happening to be honest. I imagine the after party will be in the Puffin Inn? Or could they be coming to London? I know she still has her business here in Borough – friends of mine had lunch there the other day and enjoyed it.
Again, I feel invested in this even though I barely remember seeing them on the day of Ivy’s funeral.
Speak soon,
Love,
Iris
Dear Iris,
I’m glad it’s going well with Theo. He sounds a lot more sorted than the previous applicants who I would happily have punched into next week. If things do get serious, then let me have his surname and date of birth and I’ll ask Roe to do an online stalk of him and find out if there’s been any previous in terms of his finances or run ins with the police.
As you might have predicted, it’s ended with me and Alisandra. She was lovely, but she wanted me to spend moretime in London and started to get a bit clingy about me not being around enough. She couldn’t get over to Anglesey that much because of her job so we were only seeing each other maybe for one or two nights every two or three weeks, unless I had a reason to be in London – which I haven’t.
She was upset. I felt like a total fuckwit. It was the right thing to do because it wasn’t going anywhere – neither of us are going to move or change our jobs so carrying on was just delaying the inevitable.
Not going to lie - I would like to meet someone and have a family. I’ve been a player and had more girlfriends and one-night stands than I’ve kept count of. I haven’t been shitty with any of them – apart from maybe when I was eighteen, nineteen or so and I think most lads are just walking penises at that age. But I do want what my brothers have and I want it here in Puffin Bay, for my kids to have cousins and friends they’ll grow up with in a safe town by the sea.
It's almost idyllic. I love living here. I miss the lighthouse, kind of. I liked the quirkiness of it and being out in the sea, but here in the new house I have views for days. I see the weather coming in and the rolling of the waves. I see the boats that pass routinely, fishing and sailing, some heading over to Ireland, some on longer journeys. I did wonder when Finn moved here whether it’d be boring and too still after living in the city for so long, but I’ve found it the opposite. There’s a rhythm to the peace, dictated by the seasons and the sea and the weather and it suits me. I wouldn’t change anything. I wouldn’t be anywhere else and I don’t know if I’d give this up for a person.
I don’t know if I could, but maybe I haven’t met the right person, and I don’t know if I will.
I’ve felt pretty down since the break-up with Alis. I haven’t been on any dates since or even been chatting with any of thewomen who come into the inn while they’re on holiday looking for a night of fun, if you get my meaning. I’m not interested.
Maybe some time being properly single will do me good. It’s helping my writing and I’m definitely exploring different themes. I’m working on something new as well, that project I told you about, which is challenging in a good way, and I’m spending more time with friends.
And Mavis. We’re still meeting for brunch two or three times a week. It’s the highlight of my day sometimes. She can be judgey and nosy and interfere, but she’s one of the best observers of people I know.
I worry about her though. She’s never quite gotten rid of that cough from winter, even though it’s now verging on summer and she refuses to do any more than go to the doctor. Her son’s been over and tried to encourage her to have it checked at the hospital, but she just shakes her head and says it isn’t necessary and she’s perfectly fine.
I can’t help but worry though.
Like you said, you have to enjoy the minutes you can when you have them.
