“I didn’t think eighteen months ago that I’d be swapping my Saturday nights spent in bars in Manchester for helping a baby get milk-drunk.” He hugged me a little harder.
“I didn’t think I’d be standing here with a DILF.”
He grinned at that. “Told you I knew you thought I was a DILF.”
A week later, and I hadn’t heard those three words from Jude.
I was trying to persuade myself that it didn’t bother me, that I didn’t need to hear them back. I was pretty sure he felt the same, the things he did told me that. He would make me a cup of my favourite fruit tea in the mornings after doing the early feed; he’d stocked up on elderflower cordial made by a woman in the village; he’d run me a bath in an afternoon when he came back from training and make sure I had an hour’s uninterrupted reading time whilst wallowing in warm water.
Jude was a good guy; I’d always known that. He’d always been fun and impulsive and kind with it, but those elements were becoming more as he’d grown up.
He was also a damn wind-up merchant.
“So you love me then,” he said, as we walked around a park with a well wrapped up Maia in the sling on his chest.
“I’m not talking about that right now, we’re in public.” I tried to shoot him a glare and failed miserably.
“I think now’s a good time to tell me. In fact, I think you should tell as many people as possible. See that woman over there with the dogs? I think we should tell her that you’re so in love with me that you can’t contain yourself and you’ve booked a plane to fly over the ground on Sunday with a banner that says ‘Neva loves Jude’.” His hand wrapped around my waist and squeezed me to him.
“Let’s not speak to that woman. Let’s go and have a hot drink in that nice café instead.” I elbowed him as hard as I dared.
His laugh was really irritating.
“I know you’re doing all this so I demand you tell me if you feel the same.” I looked up to give him a glare.
The glare faded when I saw his expression. No one had ever looked at me that way.
“You said we’d talk about us and what was happening when Maia was six months old. I’m holding out till then, as you wished.” The smirk returned.
“She’s seven weeks. That’s the same thing.” I was feeling snarky today.
Jude shook his head. “Let’s go and get that hot drink.”
We did, and he managed to swerve the topic again, leaving me to wonder what exactly his game plan was.
CHAPTER19
Jude
NOVEMBER
I wantedher to think about it.
Hormones were rumbling around both of us, all good ones in the main, although I knew there were times when Neva felt the pressure of being a new mum. My own mother was being amazing, managing to come over when Neva wanted an extra pair of hands and helping Neva take some time for herself, especially when I had away games.
I’d been called up for the England squad for two internationals, both away in Europe, which meant I’d be away for ten nights in total. Leaving was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do, getting into my car to do the drive to the base, Neva and Maia on my drive, waving at me – or rather Neva was while Maia opened her dark brown eyes to look at me.
My heart broke while I drove away and I ended up phoning Neva as soon as I was on the main road and then for most of the drive there, plus in the airport before we boarded the plane for our qualifier game in Turkey.
Amber brought the girls and Oliver to stay with Neva for a night, which went some way to making me feel better. I also knew that Neva was doing okay with me being away because she had to. Genny stayed with her for a couple of nights, and then my mum arrived so Neva could get a little time to herself as she’d decided that she was never going to feel guilty for my parents looking after Maia because they loved doing it so much. My mum had been in seventh heaven after holding her granddaughter for the first time and she hadn’t returned from there since.
I, however, was a mess.
I missed them both horrendously. I missed my daughter’s little smiles and giggles. I missed her curious eyes and her love of food. I even missed her ability to cover me in whatever she was eating and by the last night away, I even missed changing her nappies, which showed the extent of my desperation.
Nate had pissed his sides at me.
“I want to tell you it gets easier. It kind of does.” He tapped his ridiculously big hand on my shoulder.
