Too quiet.
“Can I have five minutes with you in my office.”
Genny tapped my shoulder and gave me a smile, one that worried me.
“Sure.” I followed behind her. She wasn’t my line manager, and I didn’t answer to her – it was the club doctor who was my direct report – but that didn’t stop a nervy feeling in my stomach.
The press had picked up on Jude and me, which Genny had anticipated. Because no more fuel had been given, they’d moved onto someone else, so I wasn’t concerned that the media had flagged something that could be damaging.
I also knew that Jude hadn’t been playing away, so there was no worry there.
“What’s happened?”
She closed the door behind me and pointed to her table.
A pack of pregnancy tests were lying there.
“This feels like déjà vu.” She took a seat on one of her occasional chairs.
I noticed Guy’s face was back on the dartboard. It was a photo of him that I hadn’t seen before where he was wearing a Christmas hat.
“You think I’m pregnant?”
She frowned. “You don’t?”
I froze, tears welling up in my eyes. “I – I - ”
“Have been trying for a baby for a couple of months and you’ve been lacking energy this week and eating bread. I think you need to do a test, Neva.” She shook her head. “I might rebrand my office ‘the pregnancy testing one stop’. Amber, now you and I’ll put money on having Dee in here before next September.” She smiled. “It’s cute. Now go and pee on a stick and we might make kick-off.”
I picked the pack up and headed into Genny’s office bathroom not able to speak. I should be due on my period next week and I had none of my usual pre-menstrual symptoms apart from being tired and my boobs ached a little, but nothing like they’d usually do.
Squatting over the loo and peeing on a stick, I practiced controlling my breath and trying to get my heart rate down. This seemed unreal, but what Genny was saying kind of made sense. I’d been lost in thoughts of never being able to get pregnant so I hadn’t considered that I might be.
I placed the test down, washed my hands and flushed, closing the lid and sitting down on it, knowing this would be the longest ever wait.
“Have you fallen down the loo?” Genny tapped at the door.
“No. Just waiting.” I kept staring at the stick.
“Do you want me to come in or leave you to it?”
I wasn’t sure. If I was pregnant, I’d want to tell Jude first. If I wasn’t, I was going to need Genny.
I worked on the likelihood of it being the second, leaning over and unlocking the door.
“Come in.”
She did, closing the door behind her and leaning against it. “I won’t say anything either way, but why don’t you watch the game with Jude’s parents whatever that stick says.”
I nodded. “I don’t think I can manage that.”
“Why don’t you go back to Jude’s and watch it on TV? I’ll get one of the drivers to take you. You have a key, fob and all that don’t you?”
I managed to nod again. “Good plan.”
“Neva, the stick - ”
I picked it up, Genny’s suggestions having distracted me for long enough.
