“I’m capable of cleaning my own football boots, but it doesn’t mean I do it. Besides, I’m practising in case I end up being a girl-dad. I think it suits me.” He moved it over his shoulder.
I shook my head, the question I’d been wondering about since texting him about to fall out.
“Aren’t you disappointed I got my period?”
He shook his head. “Honestly, no. And it’s not ‘cause I’m relieved or anything like that. I didn’t think it’d happen straight away and I wanted a bit more time with you before baby fever hit. I know we got to know each other pretty well before, but it’s been awhile.”
“You wanted more sex.”
He was grinning in such a way I figured this was definitely the case.
Jude shrugged, those broad shoulders looking even stronger. “Yeah, course. But can’t we still have sex when you’re pregnant?”
“Well, yeah, but there’s no reason to if I’m pregnant.”
His smile left his face.
“Jude, don’t you think it will blur things?” I needed him to say yes. It would blur things.
But I wanted him to say no. I wanted him to want more. Maybe it was because I was hormonal or because he’d just been so fucking good at everything.
He locked the door from the garage to the kitchen behind him. “Can we talk about it when you get pregnant and decide then?”
Why had I thought he was too young for this?
I nodded. “That’s probably the best idea.”
“Bath? Wine? Takeout? What food do you want? I’m good with anything you want to order. But please choose quickly because I’m freaking starving.” He sat down on the sofa, the smile not yet back.
I felt bad. Jude had been nothing short of amazing. Genny had said a couple of times that she thought he wanted more than just a baby arrangement, asking me why we weren’t just making a go of it.
I was worried if we did, and it ended because one of us fucked up, things would get weird between us. I knew that wasn’t brave or maybe even fair, and I kept avoiding conversations with Jude about relationships.
This, sitting on his sofa, with a blanket over me that he’d bought specially for me, a glass of red wine on the coffee table and him massaging his thumbs into my feet, was a relationship. I wasn’t stupid enough to think it wasn’t.
I wasn’t stupid enough to not understand why we weren’t going to discuss it either.
“Chinese. I really fancy Chinese. Do you?” I relaxed into the sofa, the work he was doing on my feet almost orgasmic.
“I’ll eat anything. Usual?”
“Please and thank you.” I smiled at him, feeling really grateful for him right now.
“On it. No bath?”
“Before bed.” Outside, heavy rain started to batter against the bifold doors. “How does Christmas look here?”
He moved his hands from my feet and picked up his phone to order the food on his app. “I don’t usually do much. I have Christmas dinner at my parents if they’re not away, and then I’ve usually been at Nate’s or Rowan’s.” He studied his phone for a second, brow furrowing. “I’ll get a tree this year. Make it more Christmassy. What are you doing for Christmas?”
“I don’t know this year. My mum’s going to be in France with her friend, so I’ll probably go to Genny’s.” Although Genny had said something about seeing an old friend, which had made me and Amber suspicious.
“Have it here with me.” He put his phone down and carried on with my other foot. “I think my parents are on a cruise for Christmas.”
I thought about it for a moment. Waking up in my own little house – which I loved – by myself, or here with Jude.
I wanted to be here.
“Let’s have Christmas here then.” I moved my feet and swung round on the sofa so I could lounge against him, liking too much how he pulled me closer to him, pulling the blanket over both of us, and opting forThe Muppet’s Christmas Carol, to which I discovered he knew all the songs.
