His hands disappeared around my back, toying with my bra strap.
“Can I? I want to touch you. Do you want me to?” The words were whispered, pretty utterings that made my skin feel electric.
I should say no. I should make the sensible decision. He was too young, too much of a player, too everything.
“Yes.” Because sometimes, doing what you should was the wrong decision.
My bra strap came undone too easily, his hands skated smoothly across my skin to my front, then cupping my breasts, his thumbs brushing over my nipples.
It was the first time I’d been touched like this in months. A short, unsatisfying relationship had ended, one that on paper should’ve been my forever, but the chemistry had been an underwhelming science experiment.
This was a science experiment that was about to destroy the lab – or possibly my lady parts.
CHAPTER5
Jude
Neva wanted a baby.
I sipped on the beer I’d allowed myself to have. Just one now, and then maybe one or two more with Nate and the others when they got back from the beach.
My brain was swimming in half-thoughts. Questions that weren’t fully formed circled round my head like a school of guppies on speed, everything everywhere. I hated this part. I wanted to focus, but no single thought would stay still enough for me to grasp hold of it and keep it there. This was when I’d distract myself, find something else to do where I could move and get the stimulation I needed. I understood it better now, enough to want to control it more.
I breathed. Tried to empty my head. Tasted the beer, one sip at a time, seeking out the different flavours.
Every thought of Neva and what I’d heard the girls talking about was pushed out of my head. I tried to feel the sun and listen to the breeze blowing through the trees nearby, the sound of the water in the pool.
I felt my heart rate still a little, my thoughts racing less. I needed a point to start from.
Neva wanted a baby.
That made sense. She was how old? Thirty-four or five? I knew she loved kids. I knew she’d been weird with Amber when she found out she was pregnant. That was about the time we’d started sleeping together.
I looked up at where Neva was lounging, that tiny bikini doing things to me that I needed to pretend weren’t going on. She hadn’t changed physically since we’d ended things – she was still slender with curves in the places I liked most, her dark hair long and lush and thick and so fucking pretty when it was wrapped around my wrist.
I’d missed it. Her hair, her tits, her legs and how they wrapped around my waist. She could climb me like a tree. I missed her laugh and the way she made me feel like I was the centre of somebody’s everything. Her everything.
She wanted a baby.
I could give her that.
Her eyes found me, her expression looking shocked as she realised I was staring at her.
I didn’t look away, just lifted my beer to her, a silent cheers.
Her eyes softened, her chin tipping up. There was the briefest of smiles, then Jerrica said something that made everyone else laugh and Neva joined in, although I knew she had no idea what’d just been said.
I still affected her.
That was good to know.
The kids were tired when they got back from the beach. So were the adults; all of them. Jerrica had headed to hers and Jesse’s room, the jugs of cocktails meaning she needed a late afternoon nap just like her youngest niece and nephew did. Jesse followed her up, looking exhausted and muttering something about never having children.
Genny excused herself to make a call – probably to Guy, because as much as the two couldn’t stand each other, they rarely went more than about five hours without speaking, or so I’d noticed.
The pool quietened down, leaving just me and Neva, and Nate, who was fast asleep on a sun lounger, his T-shirt over his head.
I picked up my empty beer bottle and headed over to Neva, sitting down on the lounger next to her.
