“Jerrica — ”
“He said it wouldn’t, because what I chose to do was up to me.”
Jesse nodded, looking away from me.
“You can’t use my brother as an excuse, Jesse. If you’re not interested, that’s fine. I won’t bring it up again. If you are, then why not have some fun?”
“You deserve better than what I can give you.” He spoke quietly, with gravity to his words.
I shook my head. “The only person who gets to decide what I deserve is me. My brother probably thinks I deserve some version of god, but even he has the sense not to tell me that.” I took advice, but not at the expense of my own decisions.
I also knew that Jesse’s reticence to get involved with me on any level apart from this wasn’t just down to him worrying about Nate; there was a whole lot more going on in his head.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I know you’re perfectly capable of making your own decisions.” His fingers pressed a little harder against my hip. “What would you want from anything that happened between us?”
I laughed, a little surprised that he was asking that. Most men acted first and thought if it ever became necessary, or at least that had been my experience so far. There were exceptions that I’d seen, but none that I’d experienced.
“Good sex. It’s been too long since I had an orgasm at the hand of someone other than myself.”
Before he answered, a woman walked out of the building to greet us, a badge on her top that was the same as the emblem on the sign.
“Bonjour! You’re here for a private tour, I think?” She gave us a wide smile. “I am sure you will enjoy it. Please, follow me.”
By the time we returned to our chateau, my knowledge of wine had more than doubled. It had certainly grown enough to have a conversation in the car with Jesse on the way back that turned into something of a debate about types of wine, although I stopped when I realised I was arguing myself into a knot.
We hadn’t restarted the conversation from earlier, about what I wanted from anything that might happen between us. I’d caught him looking at me a few times, his eyes stormy, and I wondered whether it was some internal turmoil that was causing it or whether he was irritated that the way in which he was trying to keep me at arm’s length wasn’t working.
As much as he’d told me about how he liked to be in control in the bedroom, he wasn’t a controlling person outside of it, or that was what had come across. I’d expected him to be something of a backseat driver, given his love for driving and frustrations that he couldn’t be behind the wheel, but he hadn’t once told me how to drive or been anything other than a relaxed passenger, which was handy, because otherwise, he might’ve ended up being dumped by the road somewhere.
When we returned, a table outside had been decorated with flowers and greenery, some vice type contraption holding up a bar above the table from which a flower had been hung. It was Insta-worthy at its finest, and I suspected that it was partly made up for that purpose. The table was set for eight of us, making me wonder who else was joining, along with Jack and Simone, and Carina and Suzette.
“You’re back!” Carina materialised from the kitchen into the garden. “How was it?”
I glanced at Jesse, wanting his opinion to be what she heard first. I was here as his chauffeur, friend as well, so it was his thoughts she needed to hear, not mine.
“Interesting. The first tour was very basic. The second probably too much — I think Gérard had it about right with the balance of information and hospitality. Were you thinking of doing tours without food?”
Carina shrugged. “We’ve talked about both and haven’t come to a decision. There’s a market for group tours, with a cold buffet at the end, that we could put on once or twice a week. Some of those people might return for a meal or even a stay, but I think we want the bulk of it to be more fine dining around when we don’t have events on.”
I managed to stay quiet. I hadn’t worked in the hotel or restaurant business, but I had organised events from elaborate parties to weddings and christenings, so I did know a little about pitch points.
Jesse turned to look at me. “What do you think?”
“I — I — ”
He laughed. “No, Jerrica, you do have an opinion, and we’d like to hear it.”
The look he gave me contained enough heat to mull all the red wine in Carina’s cellar.
“Offer monthly or fortnightly tours that can be booked directly through you, with the buffet that you suggested. Keep it to limited places so it feels exclusive and price it at that, too. Push the dining experience, but maybe think about having it only certain days of the week but available for private parties. Make your guests who are staying the priority. Focus on them first. That’s what I would do, but I don’t know the area or this particular industry.” I gave them both a smile, stepping back a little.
“Tomorrow, can we talk some more?” Carina gestured at me with her finger. “Tonight, we’re eating like royalty. Dress for expanding stomachs.” Her grin was only slightly dirty as she looked at Jesse. “Although, I’m not sure yours expands. Too much muscle in the way.”
I laughed, enjoying Jesse’s half self-conscious gaze down at his feet.
He followed me up to our room, which surprised me. I’d figured he’d wait for me to have first shower, staying outside with Suzette. His feet behind me on the stairs made my breath catch in my throat, anticipation burying a bomb in my stomach.
“Carina’s left something for you in our room.” His voice was velvet behind me.
