I wanted to do exactly what I said I didn’t do and drag her into a bathroom and fuck her against the wall, or have her sit on the side of the sink while my mouth devoured her, finding out exactly how she tasted and what it took to make her pull my hair with her hand.
I swallowed. Drank more wine. I was at my limit now for what I would have in one night. It was late. We’d had a night that was going to take some explaining tomorrow.
And my cock felt like it was going to explode.
“Maybe we could further our arrangement to take care of other matters.” Jerrica’s hand left mine, her fingers pushing her hair away from her face.
“No.” I shook my head. “Nothing good would come of it in the end.”
She smiled then shook her head. “It’s a cliché, but it’s the journey and not the destination. Every relationship that someone starts leaves them at risk of heartbreak and rejection, but you find your self-worth in there and rebuild stronger if it ends badly, and not all relationships do. What do we have to lose?”
I searched for my words, feeling the seriousness of this. We spent a lot of time together. I valued her as a friend and as someone who was really helping me out. So I took the coward’s way out.
“Are you trying to use me for your research?”
We slipped into Nate’s house, the taxi dropping us both off there. I could’ve stayed in it and gone back home, but I didn’t feel like it right now. After Jerrica had laughed at my answer and joked back, we’d talked more about what had happened, Gayle storming towards her on the dance floor, the vibe in the club, my cousin, more about my childhood and his — no detail. I’d overshared enough for one evening.
She poured herself another glass of wine and gave me a beer, bringing it over to the sofa where I sat, feeling slightly guilty for being here with Jerrica in Nate’s house.
We didn’t carry on talking about the night, or her books, or those scenes. Instead, we talked about wine and France, the car I’d hired that we’d pick up at the airport, because that was a more sensible way of getting there rather than Jerrica having to drive all the way.
“Hang on here a second, Zara.” Nate’s voice quietened us both.
“Are you checking for monsters, Daddy?” Zara sounded excited rather than scared. I wondered why she was up at this time, the very early hours of the morning.
“No, just your aunt, which is kind of similar.” Nate peered around the door, his eyebrows rising when he saw me.
“I heard that!” Jerrica laughed, her tone bubbly.
Nate beckoned Zara in. “I thought you were on chauffeur duty for Jesse?”
“She was,” I said, figuring he hadn’t really noticed me yet.
I was standing near the fridge, still holding my beer. Jerrica had moved to the kitchen island, her glass of wine almost full still.
“I had a drink so we left the car. We grabbed a taxi back here,” Jerrica said, not quite explaining it as it happened.
“Decent night out?” He looked from me to Jerrica.
We glanced at each other and shrugged. This could be a long answer.
“A little bit of drama,” Jerrica said. “I said Jesse could use the spare bedroom. Is that okay?”
Nate shrugged. “Sure. What was the drama?”
I shook my head and looked at Zara, who was hovering next to Nate and listening to everything. “Tell you tomorrow. Let me guess, this one’s after milk?”
Zara nodded, beaming. “Strawberry.”
I grinned and glanced at Nate. “Did you know that if you drink strawberry milk at midnight, you wake up in the morning with your face looking like a strawberry?”
Zara looked horrified. “What if it’s chocolate milk?”
“Same thing. Your face will look like chocolate.”
“What about banana?”
“You’ll look like a banana, which would be really funny — for us.” I opened the fridge and pulled out the cow’s milk, plain and simple, passing it to Nate when he walked over.
