“We have our ways of telling him what we think.” I scooped balm out of the jar, warming it in my hands. “Jude’s not a bad guy. He’s honest and needs to learn to think before he opens his mouth, but he never intends to upset anyone.”
“True. I don’t think I’ve heard anyone stick up for him before.” He’d turned his head to watch me. “But you’re right: he is harmless.”
“One of the few who is.” I couldn’t keep the words in. Maybe I needed to take my own advice.
I felt Nate take a deep breath as I started to rub the balm into his skin, knowing it would tingle and feel hot then cold.
“Why don’t you like footballers?”
I felt my own spine stiffen. “How do you know I don’t like footballers?” Because as far as I knew, this wasn’t common knowledge.
“Jesse mentioned it, or Ryan. I don’t know who. They think you’re more brutal with us because you don’t like footballers.” He didn’t sound shy about sharing this. “They also think you’re really good at your job, so don’t think anyone was bad-mouthing you.”
A sliver of relief helped relax my shoulders. “Thank you for telling me that.”
“It’s the truth. But I’m interested to know why you don’t like footballers.” He wasn’t going to let this drop.
“I dated one a few years ago. He was a three-timing dickhead who laughed when I found out and told me that I wasn’t special enough to be his arm-candy.” The bitterness dripped off my words. “I’ve stayed away from professional sportsmen since then.” I’d stayed away from most men in general.
Nate was quiet for a minute, letting me carry on working on the knots in his shoulders. I wondered what he was thinking, whether he was judging me for having bad taste, or letting someone take advantage, which he had.
“Who was he?”
“Why do you need to know?”
“So I can accidently knock him out next time he’s in my penalty area.”
I let my laughter out. “And get a red card? No, I love the team too much to do that.” Because as much as I couldn’t stand most players, I adored the sport and loved the team I worked for.
“I’m more subtle than that, Amber, but I’m not going to press you for his name.” He took another deep inhale. “That feels so good.” His voice sounded more relaxed.
I wasn’t going to town on him today, not like I had yesterday. I would need to let coach know that he’d picked up an injury, which I hadn’t done yesterday, because this was going to take a while longer to settle, and there was a chance it would reoccur.
I logged a to-do list in my head and tucked it away. After I’d finished with Nate, I had half an hour until Nicky Pryce-Jones turned up for a remedial massage on his hamstring, so I could batter off a few emails then.
Right now, I could focus on Nate, only I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to focus on him.
“Did Megs have the girls today?” The silence was starting to be a bit all-consuming. I didn’t know much about his daughters, only what Genny had mentioned occasionally.
“Yeah, she seemed to be expecting me to call.” He sounded sleepy, which was probably a compliment. “She’s taken them out for the day.”
“Can she help out more regularly?”
“She said so, which is good. It’s not like I want to go out partying or anything like that.” He practically shuddered. “But I don’t feel like I’ve managed to get anything right at the moment.”
“Don’t blame yourself.” I used my elbow to loosen a knot that I was pretty sure had been caused by tension rather than anything to do with football. “You haven’t exactly had it easy.”
“There’s only so long that can be an excuse for. Zara doesn’t remember Chan; she was too young, and Libbie’s at risk of being too clingy with me. We need to try to move on.” He sounded like he was trying to persuade himself.
I scooped up some more of the balm. “But not by forcing things. I guess you have to be ready to move on.”
He was quiet for a few seconds, although I could feel his gaze on me.
“I think we are ready, it’s just knowing how we move forward. We are moving house after Christmas, which will be good, I think. Anyway, it’s Sunday and you don’t need to hear me moaning. What are you doing this weekend? Any hot dates?”
I laughed. “Only with a duke.”
He turned round further and frowned. “You’re seeing a duke?”
