She nodded. “Nervous. I’m worried something won’t be right.”
The doctor looked over at us. “Is there any reason for that? Have you had any spotting or unusual pain?”
“I had a couple of twinges in my pelvis that didn’t feel great a few weeks ago, but nothing since then. The morning sickness has stopped, so I’ve felt a lot better.” Her words sounded too carefully chosen.
The doctor fiddled with her equipment, reassuring Amber. A minute later and we were listening to our baby’s heartbeat, the rapid flutter making my own heart swell and feel like it was about to explode.
“Good, strong heartbeat. Now, let’s have a look.” The doctor carried on doing her stuff.
I should’ve known what she was doing by now; this was my third twenty-week scan, but in all of them, I hadn’t concentrated on the process. I trusted the doctors and nurses, and I wasn’t an expert. My focus had been on Chan and now Amber and trying to hold myself together.
Amber’s eyes were fixed on the screen, waiting for the image to appear. When it did, I heard her sigh of relief. The small bean we’d seen eight weeks ago was now bigger, more baby-like, the umbilical cord clear.
What was also clear, at least I thought it was, was the gender.
“You’ve said you want to know whether it’s a girl or boy?” The doctor looked up at us. “Any guesses?”
“Boy.” I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the screen.
“Boy is right. Congratulations, you’re having a son!” She beamed. “And everything looks good. He’s in a nice position, the placenta isn’t too low, but I want to keep an eye on that. I’m just going to take some measurements.” She became lost again in her medical world.
“Nate, if this baby takes after you in size, I’m going to be huge.” Amber’s words were barely a whisper.
I tore my gaze from the screen onto her. “Apologies in advance. The girls weren’t big if that makes you feel any better.” That was the only way that they took after Chan; she had been petite and so had they, both as babies and now.
“I’ll let you know when I give birth.” Her voice was now full of dry humour. “He looks perfect.”
“He will be. You didn’t tell me about the twinges.” I was putting a lid on feeling cross about that.
“I figured they were just part of my body changing. It was only two or three times and then everything was fine.”
I was sure it was, but Amber was far too used to having to do everything on her own. I liked that about her, her level of independence, but my help was going to be used whether she liked it or not.
“Tell me, next time.” I squeezed her hand. “I’m not a panicker. I won’t insist you go to the hospital every time you feel something–”
“Nate–” She pulled my hand to her stomach, right on top of the gel. “Can you feel?”
I focused hard, ignoring the rate of my own heart. “Not yet. What can you feel?”
“A flutter.” Her eyes widened. “Is he moving?” She looked over at the doctor who beamed back.
“Probably. The scan might’ve woken him up a bit. I need you to move onto your right, can you do that for me?”
I watched as the doctor directed Amber so she could get images from different directions, talking us through occasionally what she was doing. Our son was, predictably, bigger than average and as the measurements and comparisons came through, Amber’s grip on my hand got tighter.
We had been in there for almost an hour by the time everything was done. The doctor satisfied with what she’d seen. I knew it was unusual to have this appointment with the doctor – usually it was a technician – but it was something I’d opted for without telling Amber.
“I’d like to do a quick internal scan, if that’s okay.” She glanced at me before focusing just on Amber, then explained what it entailed.
This was new. Chan hadn’t had this. Adrenaline cascaded through me, a similar feeling to when I’d just made a narrow save and was now on the end of a corner being taken or a penalty.
I wanted to ask why, but I knew if I did that I’d give my hand away. Amber would know this was different than usual and would possibly panic. So I kept those thoughts to myself.
“Do you want me to stay in for this, or leave?” I wasn’t sure what the protocol was here.
“Stay but keep at the top end.” There was fear there. “I hate these things.”
“They’re not nice. But better to do this and check for sure that everything’s as it should be.” The doctor gave another smile.
