Nate put a hand on my lower back, a touch that felt so warm and gentle I wanted to lean into it. I was feeling needy, like I had to have someone to physically lean on, and Nate was probably the best candidate for this.
“I thought you said you didn’t know what you were doing with kids?” He went straight to the fridge and pulled out two bottles of water.
I shrugged, taking the lid off and downing a few mouthfuls. “I don’t. But she’s so cute.”
“She can be. She can also be a real-life nightmare at two in the morning when she’s “cold”. You did good. She’ll love you forever now.” He sat down on one of the stools. “I’m sorry you were ambushed. Megs dropped her off early – there was an issue with the water at her nursery so they had to close. I would’ve texted you to let you know, but I thought it might put you off coming.”
I smiled because he was right. It might’ve done. “I think she might like me.”
He chuckled. “I think she does. Libbie might be a bit harder to get to know; don’t get paranoid if that’s what she’s like. She’s become more reticent than Zara.”
“I can’t believe how much Zara looks like you.”
His smile was different this time, softer, and when he met my eyes there was dancing excitement in them. “So does Libbie. It used to piss Chan off how much Libs looked like me, but I can see Chan in her too.” He paused. “Brace yourself for our baby looking like me too.”
I felt my heart pound a little faster as I said my next words. “That would be no bad thing.”
His brows raised. “Are you telling me you find me attractive?”
I focused on the work top of the kitchen island. “I obviously find you attractive else–” I pointed at my stomach. “This wouldn’t have happened.”
Nate gave me a nod. “Do you still find me attractive, or has the novelty worn off now I’ve got you pregnant?”
“Do you still find me attractive now I’m growing a baby.” Default mode: answer a question with a question.
“More so. It’s a caveman thing – I got you that way. Even better than a dog pissing on its territory.” He looked far too smug.
I stared at him open mouthed for a second. “I never would’ve thought you’d be such – such–”
His laugh was almost infuriating. “A couple of the lads think I’m some kind of god for getting in your pants. Apparently, they’ve been trying to flirt with you for the last season and a bit, and you’ve never even acknowledged them, so me telling everyone I’d got you pregnant was a bit like receiving a player of the year award.”
I shook my head but couldn’t help but feel pleased with what he’d said. “So you still find me attractive?” This wasn’t just fishing for a compliment; this was grabbing in a barrel filled with no water for it.
“Stupidly so. But I didn’t know if you wanted me to feel that way or not. You said you didn’t want a relationship and if we start, you know, getting more friendly than friends should be, it will become a relationship.” He finished the rest of his water and put the bottle down. “Park whatever thoughts you’re having about it there, and just try and enjoy the evening. We’re having pizza, by the way. It’s a child pleaser.”
Libbie arrived home with Nate’s sister, Jez, who I’d already met a couple of times before. She was a slightly taller, slightly older version of her little sister, her hair almost identical and her features the best of Nate’s. She also looked like her aunt, who gave me a friendly grin.
Jez and I had managed a decent conversation when she came to drop something off at the club’s campus that he’d forgotten before the team headed off on an away game. She’d been reassuring, telling me she knew this was a genuine accident and that she was excited to have another niece or nephew. She also mentioned that she thought that this was exactly what Nate needed after Chan’s death. He needed to move forward.
“Libbie has been in trouble at school.” She kept her voice low, almost conspiratorial, as Nate welcomed his daughter home, listening to Libbie's long retelling of what had happened and how some boy in her class had managed to put the blame on her for something she really hadn’t done. “It was her fault. She’s just very good at spinning a story.”
“Fair enough. I think I was the same.” I could remember something similar. I was also really good at trying to make it look as if my older brother, Eli, was actually responsible. He never quite lets me forget that.
“Libs, come and meet my friend, Amber.” Nate raised his voice, probably to give me the heads up that he was bringing Libbie over. “She’s come for tea with us.”
Libbie looked at me at the same time as I looked at her, our eyes meeting. She was just as beautiful as her sister, but her eyes were older, and her smile was out of politeness rather than friendliness.
“Hey. I hear we’re getting pizza. What’s your favourite?” It was lame but it was all I could think of.
Her smile faded. “Any. I don’t mind.”
So this was how it was going to start with Libbie.
Jez slipped off after the girls had gone to bed, Zara asking me for a story, while Libbie wanted her dad, which was fine. I’d quietly mentioned to Nate whether or not I should slip off before, allow them some time alone, but he’d shaken his head adamantly.
Which left us sat on his sofa, the TV off, just some music playing quietly through the sound system.
“I don’t think–”
