I shrugged. “No idea. She’s been covering the women’s team a lot, so I suppose she hasn’t had time.” Or at least that was what she’d told me when I’d sent her a message asking.
“Fair enough. I prefer her classes though. I like her voice.” He eyed me, a glint growing in them that I did not like. “I sometimes think of it when I’m in bed, how she tells you what to do–”
I picked up the jock strap on the bench next to me and lobbed it at his head. It was clean, which was unfortunate, but he flinched anyway.
“I’m only teasing!”
I knew he was, but he’d worked out, along with the rest of the first team, that I had a thing for Amber. They’d stayed quiet about it, at least at first after Jude had put his foot in it a while back when it had been too soon. Now Jude did tease me, usually when there was only me and him about, and it generally ended with me throwing something at him.
“It’s okay, man. I know.”
“You should do something about it. Ask her out for Valentine’s Day.” He looked mortified. “If you’re not ignoring Valentine’s Day. You know, is it too soon or, fuck, have I said the wrong thing again?” Jude stared at the ground like he wanted it to open up and swallow him into a pit of molten hot lava.
I picked up a towel off the bench and rubbed my face with it. We’d just had our arses whipped by Chelsea, then had Guy launching into us for at least twenty minutes after. Half the team had picked up a knock of some sort, and a few others had scuttled away as soon as they could. I’d hung back, used the steam room and sauna, because the girls were staying with my parents at their house for half term, meaning I didn’t have anyone to rush back to.
Including Amber.
I had seen so little of her in the last three weeks it was like she’d officially moved to the women’s team. We’d exchanged a few messages, nothing of any interest, but I knew she hadn’t fallen out with me, which made me sound like a teenaged boy with a crush.
It also felt like way too long since we’d last slept together.
I knew that what had gone on between us hadn’t been anything serious; we both knew where our boundaries were, but neither of had said we didn’t want it to carry on as it was. I wasn’t looking for anything serious right now, maybe not for a long time, and Amber hadn’t said she was either. Maybe I should ask her out for a meal, or drinks – something not football related.
“You’ve not said the wrong thing. Don’t worry about it, kid.” I launched a pair of socks at him, smacking him straight in the mouth.
He frowned, looking at the socks with disgust having completely missed catching them.
“You’d be a shit keeper.” I shook my head. “Never pick up my gloves.”
“No plans for that ever. Goalies are another brand of insane.” He glanced at his phone again – the kid was addicted to his screen. “Is Amber okay?”
“What do you mean?” A shard of panic pierced me. “Has she not been well?”
Jude finally put his phone down properly. “She’s been sick a lot. She was sorting out my hammy the other day and she had to leg it out of the room to be sick. She said it was something she’d eaten. But she’d done the same thing a couple of days ago. And she’s lost weight. Even I’ve noticed that, and my mum says I don’t notice anything. Ever.”
“Even the ball when it lands at your feet sometimes.” I raised a brow at him and he flicked the V’s at me. “Is Amber in today?” I hadn’t seen her, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t been working.
Jude nodded. “I saw her before.”
Before could’ve been any time today, but Jude wouldn’t remember quite when because everything really did blur on a match day. I stood up and grabbed my kit bag. “I’ll go and see if she’s still around.”
“Ask her about Valentine’s!” he shouted as I got to the changing room door.
I fully intended to.
Her treatment room was locked, which suggested she’d probably headed home already. I didn’t actually know where she lived, although I could find out. But then, there was no guarantee she’d be at home or wanting to see me.
The idea of Amber being ill bothered me. I’d lived through hell with Chan, almost twelve months of it, and while I’d gotten used to the girls picking up the usual childhood illnesses, anything unusual for someone I cared about sent a flicker of fear through me.
I saw Neva hovering around the reception area, looking in one of her bags for something – probably some evil ingredient that she was going to make us all add to the already evil smoothies she prescribed. I knew Neva and Amber were good friends, the two of them and Genny made up what Rowan had referred to as Macbeth’s witches.
Neva looked up as I walked over to her, her expression changing from confused to worried. I generally didn’t spend much time with Neva; my diet had never been an issue and I hadn’t been suggested for intervention from her or her team, which I was thankful for.
“You lost something?” I smiled at her, her hands ceasing to rummage through her bag.
She frowned and nodded. “Car keys. As usual.” She forced a smile. “Everything okay?”
Was it me, or was she being weird?
