“Plan A. Get your stuff, go to mine, order take out and watch that fantasy drama that Ryan’s girlfriend’s in.” She stood up and offered a hand to pull me off the chair.
“You know about Otter Penhaligon?” Because Nate had kind of told me, then sworn me to absolute secrecy.
“Amber, everyone knows about Ryan and Otter Penhaligon.”
Somehow, Genny knew to let the subject drop. I picked up what I needed from my apartment and then we crashed at hers, watching Otter Penhaligon on the small screen and gossiping about her and Ryan. We ate Thai food and while I drank tea and water, Genny managed a couple of glasses of red, which she said she needed after dealing with two arrogant men for most of the day.
It felt almost normal. The world hadn’t stopped. The sun was still going to rise tomorrow.
When I lay in bed, shattered from the day and everything that had happened, I put my hand on my still flat stomach and tried to imagine how it would feel rounded, a baby growing there. Nate’s baby growing there.
I could imagine it.
I didn’t have the worries that some women in my position right now would have. I had a good job, and I could support myself and a child. While it was possible Nate wouldn’t want anything to do with a baby, given what he’d recently been through, it was doubtful. My family would be supportive and no one would cast any blame. My friends and the club would be there for us both, and while my child might not grow up with their parents together, they would be loved.
This wasn’t what I’d planned. I still had choices.
I fell asleep with those choices buzzing through my brain and woke with them still buzzing, the knowledge that I was pregnant hitting me all over again, along with this morning’s bout of sickness.
Genny found me in the en-suite bathroom, coming in and holding back my hair. She said nothing, and when I’d done – which meant the first round of it was over – she said nothing about it, just that the press had gotten hold of our new signing – the man from Madrid – and she needed to go hold a presser.
“I need to go into work.” I tried standing up.
“No. You don’t. You have the day off. Just today, because James is off tomorrow and The Count is on a half day. Watch TV, veg out. I’ll be home after I’ve done this presser and then I’m going to sit there and do nothing because that club owes me some time.” She gave me a smile that was downright scary.
“Why will people think I’m off?” I did not want to be the source of gossip, although fuck knew what was already being said – if anything.
“You booked a day off. I’ll spread a rumour that you’re looking at buying a new house or something." She sighed. “Or I’ll just drop in Jude’s ear that you’ve gone for an interview at United.”
I managed to laugh, because that would actually be quite funny. “Thank you.”
Genny shrugged. “Any time. Do you need any crackers or whatever it is that pregnant women eat?”
I leaned down against the toilet seat. “Thanks for reminding me. I need to book an appointment with the doctor too. Regardless of what I’m doing.”
“Do it. Maybe you can get one today. Any idea how far along you’ll be?” She was so matter of fact about it, and it was really helping.
“It would have been when we were in Newcastle. So very, very early.” Way before anyone would normally be told.
Genny grinned. “I wondered why you were so tired when we were there. Was Nate keeping you up all night?”
I couldn’t help but smile now. “Pretty much. It was meant to be the last time. I guess it will be.”
Genny shrugged. “When are you going to tell him?”
I took a deep inhale. “When I’ve got my head round all the possibilities that could come from that conversation, and I know what I want to do.”
“Sensible. Okay, hon, I’m going to sort out this shower of shit, and then I’ll be back. Text me with what you need.” She bent down and gave me a kiss to my head, making my eyes well up with tears. Clearly being an emotional wreck was how I did pregnancy. “And try to relax. You have time and choices.”
“Thank you, Gen.” I managed to stand up. “If you see Neva, tell her I’ll catch her tomorrow.” Because I didn’t have the capacity today.
“Will do. And if I see Nate?”
I shook my head. “No idea.”
I saw Dee Jones, the captain of the women’s team. She was one of the sunniest, smiliest people I knew, and one of the easiest players out of both squads to work with, mainly because she always followed the advice.
She was kicking a ball around on one of the smaller training pitches, usually used for the kids’ teams, when I walked past, the little boy who was her nephew, chasing after a pass that she’d probably purposely hit wide.
