“Send her an email saying if she needs you about something to do with the business, she can contact you through your solicitor and move the fuck on.” His tone was deadly serious.
“I will do. I’ll get my solicitors to send it.” I rubbed my face. I’d been doing a lot of that lately. Thinking about how to manage things that were out of my control. “Time to cut the cord.”
Nate nodded, still looking serious. “How’s Otter?”
We were approaching the end of February. Tomorrow, we travelled to Turkey for the second World Cup qualifier of the week, the first having been at Wembley Stadium, which we’d won one-nil, beating Holland, the goal scored by no other than Athletic’s Rowan Reeves. Right now, we were in a hotel in the England training complex, where privacy was pretty much guaranteed, and it was about as distraction free as it could be. We played Turkey on Saturday evening, so our flight back would be Sunday morning. It would be a tough game in front of a hostile crowd – Turkey’s supporters were fanatical – but I had the chance to see Otter for the first time in nearly three months.
“She’s good. Excited about the BAFTAs.” She’d been nominated twice, once for Best Supporting Actress in a film, and once for the same category but in TV. I’d seen her face more on public transport than I had in real life, such was the promotional material using her for her projects.
Nate nodded. “When are you going to ask her out properly. As in take her on a date and tell her how you feel?”
“Are you getting emotional with me now?” I patted his shoulder.
“Don’t try it,” he warned. He was referring to the conversation we’d had the night before the Holland game when I’d talked him into not doing anything stupid about Amber. “But yeah, I am. You’re really into her, Ryan. Do something about it before she makes up her mind to move on. You can’t expect her to keep waiting for you to stop being a mard-arse about having a relationship that might be a bit difficult.”
He had a point.
“I’ll talk to her on Sunday.” Hopefully. “She told me she’d let me know if she was dating anyone.”
“You’ve told me that about six times. And she hasn’t been linked with anyone. In fact, Ry, when she was asked by a journo about her love life, she said she was still seeing you.” Nate folded his arms. “You might want to read something into that.”
I sat down on my bed. We were in a Jack and Jill suite, a bathroom separating the two bedrooms. Nate wasn’t the worst roomie I’d ever had – that would be Jude, on the odd occasion we’d ended up sharing a suite, because he was a messy fucker, with no sense of privacy and far too descriptive about what he did on the toilet. Nate appreciated the quiet and the time where he could actually shower without a small child following him into the bathroom – something else Jude actually did – although he’d usually spend an hour on a video call with his daughters.
“Can you send me the link?”
He pinged it over and left me to it. The article was an interview with a British lifestyle magazine that came out monthly. It was one that I knew Otter had been in before, and the journalism wasn’t sensationalist, pitched at a reader who was interested in the artist or actor rather than any speculation.
It went into designers, who she liked to wear and which previous Oscar outfits she’d liked. There were the usual plugs for her upcoming projects, includingA Doll’s House,and then she’d been asked about her ideal home, and where she was living.
“I think I need a break from living in the city. I’m looking forward to filming ‘Bridges’ as it’s set in Ireland, and we’ll be doing most of our filming there. After that, I have another project lined up, which is a historical based on Anne Massey’s book about Eleanor of Aquitaine, which is being filmed in London and in the French countryside.” Otter is understandably excited about what’s coming up for her. The two movies she’s signed on for are big budget projects from awarded directors, and both will be eagerly anticipated. But it’s the time on stage she’s most excited about. “It’s been a while since I’ve had a stage role, and there’s nothing quite like performing in front of a live audience. I love A Doll’s House – I first performed it when I was at college, so it will be something to come back to the role of Nora as an adult.”
We asked Otter about putting permanent roots down somewhere, and what her ideal house would be like. After several years of living in short-term lets wherever she’s been filming, now seemed like a good time be looking at that possible forever home.
“I’d like somewhere remote. I spend so much time with people for my job that it’s nice to escape to where I can just hear the birds.” Otter sits back on the sofa and tucks her legs under her. She’s wearing a simple pair of fitted blue jeans, and a white shirt, tucked in at the waist that emphasises just how tiny she is. Not that she wants to be on her own. There has been speculation about her love life, with her briefly being linked with co-star Gulliver Steed, a link which was denied by both of them. We asked Otter who she’d like to share that home with.
“Ryan and I both have had ridiculously busy schedules, which has meant we’ve had to put any relationship on hold, but I’m hoping that when we’re both in the same country for longer than a few days at the same time, we can see how things go between us.” She smiles and twists her hair, her expression what I’d connect to a woman who’s besotted.”
I stopped reading, my hopes feeling far too high and at the same time I was petrified. This was very real. I was looking at my future, and not just the chapter after I’d stopped playing football, the future in the next few days. The next week.
I checked the time, wanting to give her a call and tell her I’d read the interview. The issue had only just been published in the last couple of days, which made me wonder how Nate had come across it. Calling her was out of the question as she’d currently be flying across the Atlantic, but she could receive a message when she landed.
I’d never chased a woman. I’d never put myself out to be hurt or thought about investing my futurewith someone else.Tunnel vision was something I’d been accused of before, but it was an accusation I was happy to say was true. Play the game, invest, decide on what I wanted to fill my time with after I’d retired. I hadn’t put aside the idea of a family and partner, but it hadn’t been in the plan.
Probably because I’d never met anyone who made me want to be with them. Until Otter.
I read the article where you mentioned me. Wondered if you wanted to base yourself at my farmhouse? It’s in the countryside.
I read it again, doubting every word. It wasn’t romantic. It wasn’t a declaration of love. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to say, but I wasn’t sure what words to use.
Nate probably wasn’t the best source of advice, but he was there and he was better than Jude, who was next door, sharing with Nicky Pryce-Jones. The day I asked Jude for relationship advice would be the day I poked myself in the eyeballs with a hot scalpel.
“How does this sound?” I passed Nate my phone.
He studied it for a moment and then handed it back. “For fuck’s sake, Ryan, just tell her you love her.”
My mouth dropped open. “But…”
He shook his head. “Pass your phone here.”
