I pressed send and flicked on social media, something to do while I worked out what to actually do next. Toby was going to Megs after school tonight and would stay over for dinner and sleep there. Friday was an in-service training day at his school, and Megs had a lodge in Wales that she shared with her brother. She’d offered to take Toby and one of the other player’s kids away for a couple of nights, so they were heading off for a weekend of Welsh beaches and slot machines on the pier first thing Friday morning, coming back Sunday tea-time. I looked at my profile on Instagram, uploading a video from training that had just been sent to us to share. The edit I had was of me tackling, both of us laughing, then ending with a hug. The suggestion from our marketing department was that we put something about teamwork, which was easy to do.
I went on Rowan’s profile, seeing his recent posts. There were edits from last night’s match, and then a post on his stories that was a picture of me and him, a selfie he’d taken when we’d just been watching something mindless on television, doing more talking than paying attention.
His caption was simple. It was just a heart.
I went for a shower knowing exactly what I was doing that afternoon.
Rowan was at his apartment, which had been my first place to look. However, he was in the shower when I got there, Ryan letting me in. I had a key, but I felt uncomfortable using it with Ryan being there too. For all I knew, I could interrupt him getting his freak on with whoever it was he was seeing, because he was definitely seeing someone.
“You okay?” I asked Ryan. He looked decidedly un-okay, given his team were on four successive victories and he was on form himself.
“No. Yes. Have you seen it?” He rubbed at his stubble.
I shook my head. “Haven’t seen anything. Haven’t heard anything – three wise monkeys here. See no evil, hear no evil and definitely speak no evil.”
He stared at the floor for a second. “You will soon. I’m heading out to meet my agent. Can you let Rowan know?”
I nodded. “Sure. And Ry, if there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.”
“Thanks. I will.”
He closed the door shut and I heard the lock click. The sound of the shower stopped as I headed towards Rowan’s room, hearing his music loud enough that I doubted he’d heard my footsteps outside.
I knocked, but only heard him singing – badly – through the door, so I pushed down the handle and entered.
He was standing in front of his full-length mirror with just a towel around his waist, singing along to some very cheesy pop song. Any nerves I’d had about coming here faded away fast, my smile starting to creep through the storm clouds Joanne had sent.
Rowan’s grin grew – I could see it through the mirror – when he noticed me. There was no embarrassment whatsoever that he’d been caught being a complete geek, in fact, he just carried on, adding in a few more moves that made his towel look likely to slip off.
Not that I was going to complain about that.
I sat down on his bed and waited for the show to end. He turned the volume down and came to sit next to me, taking hold of my hand.
“You okay?”
I nodded. “I’m fine. Claire’s petitioned the court for full custody of Toby following on from what Joanne’s done. I had a message from Joanne.”
“What did it say?”
“She just called me a bitch.” I shrugged. “It doesn’t hurt anymore.”
He nodded. “Good. It shouldn’t. She doesn’t matter at the moment.”
“At the moment?” I raised my brows.
“Because she’s still your sister, and maybe in the future when she’s not being a fucking loony tune, she’ll matter again, but until then…” He nodded towards two packed cases. “I have a house to move into.”
“It’s completed?”
“Tomorrow. I get the keys, so I can start whatever decorating I’m meant to do. Your solicitor has a sister who’s an interior designer, so she’s coming up on Sunday to start whatever it is she does.” He looked completely bored with the idea.
“Do you still want me to help with that?” I said the wordhelpas tentatively as possible, because both of us knew it wouldn’t be help that I’d offer. But I would stop him from spending stupid amounts on stupid things.
His expression was serious when he looked at me, but it wasn’t grumpy. I hadn’t seen grumpy for a while, apart from when a referee had a moment in a match a couple of weeks ago.
“Aye, but only if you’re going to be living there at some point in the future. Or if you think that’s the way this is going. I need you to be serious about us, about me. Because I’m serious about you.” There was worry there when he spoke, as if he was expecting me to take the heart he’d just held out to me and drop it to the floor.
I didn’t drop it. I took it with care and exchanged it for my own.
