“You’re spendinga lot of time with your bartender.” Livi made the comment one morning when I came home after spending the night at Tommy’s. “I hope you’re having fun.”
“I am.”
The glint in her eye was knowing. “Good. I often worried that you didn’t have enough.”
“How’s Lawrie? I haven’t seen him around much.” She’d been skirting the issue whenever Lala or I brought it up.
“Working. I think he’s in London this week.” She sat down at her favourite spot to have breakfast in.
“Is it over between you two?” I took the chair opposite.
“I think so. I think it’s time we moved on.” There was almost a note of sadness to her voice, a tone we rarely heard because everything Livi said or did was measured with the right amount of grace and dignity. Sometimes I wished she’d lose that veneer in front of us, that just for once we could see our mother raw, then we knew it was alright to be like that too.
“Really? But I thought you got along well.”
“We did.” She smiled. “But some things don’t last forever. You will, and Lala, and Gav. We’ve had a good time together, Lawrie and I, but I think it’s come to an end and we need to part ways.”
I felt a twinge inside at the change. I’d never not gotten along with Lawrie; he hadn’t spent enough time with us to have clashed, but I didn’t have a strong relationship with him. He’d made Livi happy – that had been enough. I still had a sense of loss.
“Does he know?”
Livi laughed. “Of course he does, sweetheart. We’re still friends. It’ll be all very amicable.” As it always was. Everything Livi did was amicable.
“Are you going to get back together with Gav?” The very fact I was asking this question summed up how screwed up my family was, and I couldn’t help but notice I sounded like a little girl again.
“Your father and I will always have a complicated relationship.”
That was all I’d get on the matter.
“What about you and Tommy? Will you change your mind and stay here now?”
It was my turn to laugh. “No. My future for the next few years is in New York.”
“You can always change your plans.”
“I don’t want to.” I kept my voice soft. “Where’s Marcus at the moment?”
“With his dad. They were trying to work some deal out.” She smiled. “I think they might be in a bit of trouble.”
“Is that why it’s definitely over with you two?”
“It’s one of the reasons. Anyway, tell me more about Tommy.”
“It’s just a fling, Livi. A summer romance.” I wasn’t thinking about how it would feel to leave him, to not have him in bed with me at night, to not have his hands, mouth, lips worship my skin before we fell asleep, sated.
She smiled again. “Summer romances are the best. I did wonder whether you might want something longer with him. I’ve seen how you look at him.”
“How do I look at him?”
“Like he could be everything.” She stood up. “I’m going to find out where breakfast is. We’ll talk more later.”
We didn’t. Not about Tommy, and not about Lawrie either.
We went outfor breakfast one morning, the three of us, leaving early before the rest of the world had woken up. Every morning felt the same with its blue sky, quiet buzz and that feeling of freedom that the island seemed to invoke. That morning was no different, only Livi was restless, her usual calm absent.
“Let’s go out for breakfast. Watch the world go by.” She found me in the kitchen, perusing fruit juices in the fridge. “Just for a couple of hours.”
Lala was already up, swimming laps in the pool, her mood good, which suggested there was no current drama with Carl, or anyone else.
