“Have you got a minute?”
He must have known I wouldn’t say no.
“Sure.”
I followed him over to a swinging seat which had just been left empty and sat down next to him. He looked tired, but then he’d been mixing drinks for the last few hours and I doubted that he’d spent the rest of the day by the pool.
“I don’t date.”
That wasn’t what I’d been expecting to hear. My heart broke a little. I tried to smile, but it didn’t come out like my mother taught me. I stared at the ocean instead.
“I’m a bit fucked up because of some shit that happened, and I haven’t dated since my fiancée died.”
I sipped my cocktail. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Tommy nodded. “We were together from when we were sixteen for eleven years. She was killed in a hit and run.”
“Shit.”
“So I haven’t really gone out with anyone properly since then.”
“I understand.”
He laughed, which made me look at him properly, instead of avoiding his gaze. His eyes weren’t cold, or flashing me a warning that he was preparing to push me away.
“You’re here for just the summer?”
“Yes. Then I go to New York. October.”
“What if we go out sometime? I might be fucking useless at it.”
“You won’t know until you try.” I turned my body towards his. “You’ve surprised me.”
“I’ve surprised myself. I was watching you most of the evening, and all I wanted to do was to make sure I could take you to bed again.”
I laughed. “So this is just sex? I mean, I’m okay with that…”
He shrugged, the laugh that went with it was awkward. “Yeah, kind of. Maybe a bit more. But you’re not staying here and I am. So this wouldn’t be serious anyway.”
There were a hundred thousand things I wanted to ask, but I knew none of them were for now. I wanted to be able to touch him, to have the right to want his attention, but he held the power for now. I wasn’t sure how comfortable I was with that.
“This is your way of saying you want more than the two nights we had?”
Tommy nodded. “Usually once is enough – and I know that sounds shitty because it is. Feel free to tell me to fuck off. I know I’m not your usual type.”
“What? Not married?” I choked. “Let’s go on a date. Somewhere just the two of us.”
“Tomorrow? Come back to mine tonight and we’ll head out first thing. Go to Formentera for the day.”
I was surprised by how quick that was, and a full day. Something in the back of my mind woke up, but not for long enough so I could identify it.
“I can’t for the whole day – my half-sister and brother are getting here in the afternoon, but I can go out in the evening.” I was glad I had a reason to say no of a sort. I didn’t want to look so available. I didn’t want to make it that easy for him.
He nodded, looked away for a moment. “Come back to mine tonight. I’ll take you home early and then pick you up for dinner somewhere.”
“Okay. That sounds good.”
His smile wasn’t one I’d seen before; this was freer, maybe had some relief to it.
