“You’re on the yacht tomorrow?”
“Yep.” His hands moved to straighten my dress. “Will you party all night?”
“No. Will you?”
“I should head off. I’m the hired help; we don’t linger.”
“Stay as my guest.”
He shook his head, pulling his still semi-hard cock out of me. I felt more sticky wetness gather between my legs, but it was the loss of him that was acute. His hands left me after moving me backwards so he could sort out his jeans. “I’m just the bartender, Lady Jay. Not a guest.”
It was a brush off. The one I’d been preparing myself for.
This was all it was: a fuck. An amazing, life changing fuck. Not something to get clingy over or wish for more.
I wasn’t going to make myself into that girl who stared longingly at a lover who didn’t want more. I knew I wasn’t just a convenience – he could get some woman to fuck him anywhere on Ibiza – there had been more than that when he’d watched me with Monty.
But promises hadn’t been made.
“The offer was there.”
He gave a nod, a sole one. “I don’t do relationships.”
“I guessed.” Those pieces he’d broken me into were now shattered further.
“I’m not a nice person.”
“You give good orgasms.”
That got me a smile. “Good.”
I limbered off him, rearranging my dress. The stickiness between my legs had increased. I needed a shower.
“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Another nod.
“And don’t worry.” I started to back away. “I won’t be expecting a repeat.”
My room was quiet,the windows still open to catch the cooler air. Music and voices drifted upwards, the thud of the bass from the music the island’s heartbeat.
I’d slept through louder.
The mask removed, my dress slipped off, I headed to my shower without glancing at myself in the mirror. I knew Tommy had left marks. Burn from his stubble, teeth marks from his bites, scars from his kisses.
When the water was on full blast and steaming, I moved straight under it, needing the blast, the pressure to wash off what we’d done.
I wasn’t ashamed. I didn’t regret it.
I just wished I didn’t need more, even if every time he left me wanting.
My sleep was filledwith dreams that fragmented across lands and times. Nothing was memorable, just flickers of colour and soundbites of words. Nothing made sense and the day seemed upside down already, even before I’d remembered where I was and what had happened.
Laughter filtered through the window. I had no idea what time it was, whether the sun had recently rose or whether it was close to lunch. I sat up, the ache between my legs feeling more apparent.
Fuck.
It wasn’t like I’d been drunk and hadn’t been fully cognizant of what I’d done with Tommy. It wasn’t like I’d have every second of it etched on my memory for rest of my life.
