Here nothing mattered apart from the day. Whatever you’d done the night before was wiped away by the rising sun.
It was still early, my body still working on an alien time zone. I pushed away the blanket and wandered to the balcony, tying back the drapes. The sky was cloudless, the sea sapphire. The pool still. The air was full of promise for the day, a certain electricity in it, like there always was.
To the south-east of the island was a large rock, Es Vedra, one of the most magnetic places on earth. There were legends and myths about UFOs and sirens that called men to their deaths there, but now, whatever had happened in the past or not, it radiated peace and serenity. Crowds would gather there in the evenings, the beaches nearby and bars packed with people taking in the view, and boats would circle the rock. Whatever vibes it sent out, whether it was a placebo effect or not, it chilled the island.
I felt those vibes now as I stood on the balcony, looking out to a blossoming day. Lara would still be asleep – she’d hit a club after dinner and who knew if she was back or not. That would’ve depended on Carl. Livi would be out somewhere or other, either an early market or a yoga class on the beach.
Which meant Safir was quiet.
I dressed in a simple navy bikini and a long, pale blue cover up. I knew that Livi had guests arriving today for a long weekend, a couple of yoga friends, so our menu was going vegan for the duration. She’d be taken with them and their mediations, so Lala and I would be left to ourselves to re-explore home.
The kitchen was tidy, no milk left out or half-drunk glasses of water, suggesting that Lala hadn’t gotten home yet. She’d inevitably be with Carl, tucked up in a small bed in an apartment that she’d never normally stay in, but for him.
I turned on the coffee machine, finding a fruit salad in the fridge that Gerald must’ve prepared yesterday evening for breakfast today. Livi didn’t eat early; she preferred to tick at least a couple of things of her list before treating herself, whereas I needed something, especially caffeine, before I could even utter a word.
I took my coffee and fruit outside to the gardens, finding a spot where I could see the neatly tended lawns and borders, with a hint of the sea. It was peaceful, serene even. But the undertone of that beat, that pulsing beat of house music still echoed, even if it was from just memories.
A sudden footstep woke me further. I turned around and saw Lala, dressed in a T-shirt that wasn’t hers and the skirt she’d almost worn last night.
“Coffee?” I stood up.
She shook her head. “I’ll get my own. Believe it or not, I’ve had a really decent night’s sleep.”
“Did Carl get a bigger bed?”
There was a laugh, sharp and telling.
“His sofa was more comfortable than the bed.”
“Need a cocktail?”
Another laugh. “It wasn’t that bad. We fucked, then argued.”
“What about this time?”
She shook her head again. “You know what, I need coffee and a shower. Let’s head to Santa Gertrudis for lunch. Be ready in a couple of hours?”
I nodded, knowing from experience there was no point in trying to talk more to her about Carl. This had been going on for almost a decade. A night together, a week apart, then a reunion which left both of them smiling, followed by a morning where Lala stormed home and her head was fucked.
When she was away, staying in Paris, she barely messaged him. Their contact would be just over social media – likes and comments and the occasional battle over who had the prettiest date.
It had been like a spectator sport.
“Couple of hours is good. I might use the spa, or go to the beach.”
Lala reached for me and kissed the side of my cheek. “Love you, Jay-Jay.”
My arms went around her, and I hugged her close, catching the scent of Carl’s cologne and cannabis. “Love you too. Go shower. You stink.”
She laughed and disappeared, leaving me enveloped in the morning. One of Livi’s yoga mats had been left by the pool, rolled up neatly. Since being eighteen, I’d practiced yoga, the asanas and vinyasas something we’d grown up with, in England and Ibiza. She’d encouraged us both to practice but never forced it, telling us about pranayama and meditation when we were down or nervous but never making us try it. It had seeped in though, no matter how much we’d rebelled, more so with me than Lara.
I unrolled the mat and faced the still rising sun, beginning a basic sun salutation, my breath automatically keeping the beats of the movements. By the fifth round I’d begun to sweat. By the end of the eighth, I was in the pool and floating, feeling like I’d achieved one thing for the day.
One thing was enough. If the rest of the day was spent indulging, I could be at peace.
Sometimes, you had to be able to forgive yourself for the sins you might commit. Then the rest of the day would always forgive you.
Santa Gertrudis bustled with locals,tourists and ex-pats. The market was in full swing, laden with jewellery and wares that I’d bought tons of before. A cute pair of silver earrings sung out to me and made their way into my ears before we’d even managed to get round the first row of stalls.
