Chapter Nineteen
Jameson
Lala was being beautifully Lala. She was full of the joys of her upcoming trip and where she was staying. Carl had been forgotten since she’d found him in bed with one of the waitresses who worked for him, and there was half a chance that this time it was for good. She wasn’t in the mood to discuss Livi and Lawrie, moving on from Lawrie without a blink, because that was my older sister. Her attachments to most people were fleeting for as long as they served a purpose. If a person stopped being useful then Lala lost interest in them.
She raised her brows at the marks on my neck, and made a quick comment about them, but then moved on, as did everyone else. No one cared that my afternoon delight had been in a small and dark flat above a bar; it was kind of accepted now that I was sleeping with Tommy without anyone judging or asking questions, because this was Ibiza.
I wasn’t upset with what Tommy had said. My eyes had been wide open going into this from the start, and he’d warned me that it could only be a summer romance, without the romance and flowers. As I thought would happen, I’d lost a slice of heart to him, and I knew I’d never get it back. As much as it was going to hurt, I accepted the price.
The rest of the group continued drinking, conversations about choosing a club to go to popping up every half an hour, and it seemed clear that was the way the night was going. Lala left in a couple of days and Livi wanted a family meal tomorrow before Gav shot off home – him and Lala were actually getting on the same plane. That family meal would not include Lawrence or Marcus, and I wondered how easily Livi would cut them out of our lives and at what cost to her.
I opted to go to the club with Lala, rather than hang around and wait for Tommy to finish work. He stayed away for most of the afternoon, sending out one of his staff to serve us rather than coming out himself which he usually did when I was there. It was the first time we’d had anything that resembled an argument, and I was pretty determined to not go crawling back to him.
So far, it’d been an equal share of who contacted who, although I hadn’t expected it to be. After the night at the beach party, he’d warmed up, been less of an alpha-hole than what I’d expected. Today I’d seen that side of him I knew was there; he’d just kept it hidden.
I managed to enjoy myself at the club. Lala was on form, being her bright shining light. Monty was in flirt mode, and we bumped into some people we knew from London which made the night feel new. I let myself go with my sister, dancing and laughing, stealing the attention between us, and it felt freeing.
Part of me expected to see Tommy appear from somewhere, his eyes on me like they had been before, but he didn’t materialise.
I’d hoped he would. Hoped he’d be bothered enough to find where I was and seek me out.
“We should head home.” Lala looked at her phone for the time. It was gone two in the morning, early for Ibiza time, but there was a day ahead of us tomorrow with Gav and Livi, and the kids, some weird, quirky family time.
“You want to say goodbye to everyone?” Monty was still on the dance-floor, his T-shirt long since lost. I think he’d already had sex with one girl in the bathrooms so far tonight.
“No. I’ll be back in thirteen days. Then we have the rest of summer.”
A sense of dread crept into my chest, an icy grip on my heart. “There’s not much left of it now.”
“Stay longer. Stay until October, or when you absolutely have to be in New York. Even better, defer for a year and just have fun. Don’t get old too soon, Jay Jay. We’ll spend enough time grown up.” She gave me that dazzling smile and linked my arm, leading me out of the club into the warmth of the night.
Lala’slast day for now was peaceful, which was a surprise for everyone. Livi had a lid on her special brand of crazy, and Daisy had settled down now Gav had spent more time with her. I still hadn’t heard from Tommy and I was torn between wanting to message him first, or waiting for him. My worry was that he’d never call. He’d never set out to be invested in us, and after a few amazing weeks of sex, he’d probably filed it in the category of ‘done’.
My heart broke a little more with each hour, and it was starting to hurt in a way I hadn’t expected it to.
I was in the kitchen when Lala found me, her humming announcing her presence before I saw her.
“What’s going on with Tommy?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. I think it’s over.”
She frowned. “Not what I thought you’d say. What happened?”
I shrugged and pulled out the orange juice from the fridge. “We kind of had a row. It’s a summer romance and…”
“You like him more than he likes you?”
It was then I burst into the tears I’d been suffocating since the day before.
Lala didn’t say anything, she just closed the fridge door, took the orange juice from my hand, and then hugged me, letting me cry on her shoulder.
“I knew I’d end up getting hurt.” The words were a confession, to myself rather than her.
“It’s kind of inevitable with a holiday romance. Only, it doesn’t have to be that if you stay out here.”
I shook my head. “I’m not staying here, La. I want to move forward and I have dreams. Tommy’s older than me…”
“Not sure what that matters. So you had a row. You only have a few more weeks left – why not enjoy them with him? You’ve said the sex is amazing – fuck knows that’s the only reason I get back with Carl every few weeks. Just go have some more fun.” She moved back slightly and wiped the tears from my eyes. “Did he do anything to hurt you?”
