“Fuckers.” I legitimately hated my family my right now.
“Here.” He passed me her drink and pushed a pint of beer to me. “And if you need me to explain how tab A goes into slot B…” Shay gave me a wink and then fucked off, which was useful as if he hadn’t, I’d have politely told him where to go. Or maybe not so politely.
I picked up Georgia’s drink and my own, then headed to where she was standing with some of the commercial lit team. Not staring was difficult and I was pretty sure the elevated tapping of my pulse could be heard by everyone in the bar.
“Here.” I passed her the drink. “Complements of my cousin.”
She smiled and accepted it. “He’s a character.”
I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.
“He’s a lot of things.” Playboy, flirt, womaniser – there was a long list. “How’ve the last couple of days been?”
She turned around to face me head on and gave me a look that told me she had me sussed. I’d have been lying if I said it didn’t scare me. I wanted to lie down on the floor on my back like some huge playful dog and show her my belly, hoping she’d maybe tickle it.
Or a bit lower.
“You’d have known how the last couple of days had been if you hadn’t hidden away like some scared fool.”
My stomach tipped; my stare was that of someone who’d just been seriously called out.
“I didn’t mean…”
She interrupted with a laugh. “Seph, I’m a grown woman. I can handle a chat with a man that ends in a kiss. Just because we went there doesn’t mean anything has to come of it. We both know it won’t.”
“What?”
Her laugh was louder this time as she shrugged. “I’m a single mum, who got pregnant after a workplace fling. I’m not going to do casual with someone who can effectively fire me.”
I searched around for words that would put things right, only they weren’t offering themselves up right now. Instead I groaned and rubbed my face. “I wouldn’t be doing casual. Not with you.”
“Okay. That worries me and scares the shit out of me at the same time. Why’ve you hid from me for the last two days?”
A roar of laughter echoed through the bar. I glanced over; Max had clearly said something that meant he was having the piss ripped out of him for. No one was watching me and Georgia, everyone’s attention was elsewhere.
There was no point in lying and trying to defend myself. I had been avoiding her since Wednesday night, thinking it would make some sort of difference.
It hadn’t; other than to make me look like a complete twat.
“Because I promised myself that I’d focus on work and being taken seriously.” I waited for her to laugh again, but it didn’t happen. “Kissing the new partner in my department isn’t exactly going to make that happen.”
She sipped her drink. “You know, maybe you’re right. It wouldn’t help you being taken seriously, but neither does avoiding someone for two days straight after people saw us leaving together on Wednesday. The rumour mill has been doing some serious grinding. Don’t get me wrong, we all want to be taken seriously, we all want to be known for being professional, but guess what, Seph, people meet people they want to get involved with at work. How it moves forward or ends depends on how mature those people are and maybe you’re just not there yet.”
It was a punch to the stomach from a heavyweight in home truths.
“And Rose.” Somehow I managed to find some words. “What about Rose?”
She shook her head. “I’m not sure what my daughter has to do with any decision I make about dating someone. She knows you as someone I work with and she likes you, just as she does with other friends. However, I’d go about introducing someone who might be there in a different way would be my decision to make.” She gave me a smile. “But thank you, Seph. It was nice being kissed and it made me decide that I am ready for a relationship, so I think I’m going to go and mingle – because you never know who you’re going to meet.” She patted my shoulder and left me standing there, staring and wondering what the hell had just happened.
I put my pint down on a nearby table and headed outside, needing the fresh air, wanting to kick the fuck out of myself. I felt like an arrogant bastard who yet again had made a stupid decision based on what other people thought.
I yanked my glasses off my face and threw them down to the ground, standing on them so they crunched under my feet. I didn’t need them, never had. I only started wearing them because after a photoshoot for an interview the photographer had commented on how they made me look intelligent with a massive slice of sex appeal. I’d gone on to fuck the photographer, a blonde woman who’d laughed a lot and been so fucking talented. She’d left before I’d woken the next morning and ignored my calls, sending me one text, thanking me for the night but she never did repeats.
I’d carried on wearing the glasses all because of what someone else had said.
I’d not asked Georgia out because of what other people might say.
My own fucking rules had tripped me right up.
