I narrowed my eyes at her. “Ava, why are you digging at this? What’s made you think something’s going on?”
Suspicion was never unwasted with her.
“It was the way you said that Georgia saved you. You got a moony look on your face.”
“Seriously?” I needed to cure myself of that. Preferably before Max or Jackson noticed.
“Yep. Ask her out.” She looked genuinely delighted.
“I’m not wanting to date right now. And not someone I work with.” My stomach twisted as I said the words.
“I get that. The working with thing. The dating bit, no, I don’t get it. Dating’s different from sleeping around, Seph, if you’re seeing the same woman.”
“I don’t have time for it.”
“When will you have time for it?” She looked at me through narrowed eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“Because if you don’t have time now, how will you have time later?”
“Still not getting you.”
She shook her head. “If you become some sort of workaholic now, you won’t stop, so you’ll just end up going back to one-night stands, because you’ll never find time.”
I wasn’t sure what to say.
I’d never been very good at balance. Submerging myself in a work project or a fitness goal or achieving some target I’d set for myself was my norm; and I’d focus on that and nothing else until I’d gotten there. After which I’d felt a hollowness, as if something was missing. But when I was focused on something, it was all I was focused on. Yet another reason why Georgia and Rose were a bad idea.
“I think I’m better off being single.”
Her look was one of disbelief. “There’s no way you’re going to stay celibate for any length of time. No way.”
I shrugged. Couldn’t say it wasn’t something I was missing. I liked sex, what man didn’t, and this was the longest I’d ever gone without it, by a long way. Well, up until the age of fifteen when I’d lost my virginity anyway.
“I’m not saying I’m deliberately abstaining, I’m just trying to stay focused and change what people think of me.”
“And what do youthinkpeoplethinkof you?” She tapped her nails against the table.
“That I can’t be on my own. That I sleep around.”
I saw a small smile creep up her face. “You hate being on your own, Seph, because you’re so used to living with a huge family, and then you stuck with Cassie because it was easier than being by yourself, even though she was a total arse-wipe.”
“Why did no one tell me she was so bad?” It had taken me this long since splitting up to ask the question because I’d been too afraid to know the answer. “Bad for me, anyway.” I didn’t think Cassie was a bad person, no matter what my family reckoned. She’d been fun and caring, most of the time. She’d made me laugh and we’d had the same interests. It was the other side to her that had been destructive, and she’d nearly destroyed me in the end, only I hadn’t realised that until things had soured to the point of being rotten.
“We kind of did. But even Claire didn’t want to tell you that she was sleeping around behind your back. We weren’t sure how you’d react.” She played with a lock of hair that’d dropped over the side of her face. “Mum worried that if we told you what we thought you should do, you’d do the opposite. Cassie had a weird hold on you.”
I didn’t say anything back because there was nothing to say. She had controlled me to an extent, and I saw now that what we’d had became toxic.
“I’ll bet you that you don’t stay single for another six weeks though.” Her grin was far too knowing for my liking. “You’ll end up seeing someone, I can tell.”
“You’re wrong.”
“So what’s the wager?” She tapped a rhythm on the table with her nails.
“Bragging rights.”
Ava shook her head. “Nope. Loser pays for the winner to have a night in a five-star hotel, dinner and drinks included.”
