Vanessa:That means I can have alcohol this afternoon. Yes please.
Claire:I’ve just expressed so I can drink too.
Jackson:Sunday lunch just became less inviting.
Marie:Sunday lunch isn’t an option. The restaurant is booked. It’s bottomless on food and prosecco as requested and your father is paying.
Claire:I’ll be asleep after two glasses, so you’re safe, Max.
Killian:He’s never safe, babe. He knows this by now.
Claire:Babe? Where the fuck did that come from?
Killian:I was being affectionate.
Claire:Well don’t do that. I’ve only just given birth.
Jackson:Do you think you need to take this to a more private place, Claire and K?
Callum:This is providing a lot of entertainment. Where’s Seph, btw? Why’s he not complaining about being woken up yet?
Ava:He’s probably remembered to set his phone to night mode till a reasonable time. Unlike some. Eli wants to know what time you’re meeting for warm up?
Jackson:Seph’ll be there five minutes after he’s caught up if he knows Marie’s heading round.
I was fully caughtup by now. The shower had stopped and the radio was blaring from the kitchen. At some point, Shay would start singing. At some point, I’d record him and send it to everyone I knew.
Seph:We said nine-thirty for warm up for those who can make it.
Ava:He lives.
Seph:I was in bed by midnight.
Ava:Who with?
Seph:Me and a good book.
Ava:So just Shay got lucky.
Seph:The question is, did the girl Shay was with get lucky? This lack of clitoral knowledge could be a genetic defect that Max and Shay share. I slept very well and wasn’t woken, so I have no idea whether either of them got lucky. She could’ve just slept over.
Callum:This is Shay we’re talking about. Shay. Shay doesn’t have girl friends or girlfriends. He’s incapable of a platonic friendship with a female.
Seph:Callum, I get why Jackson, Claire, Van were all up early – children. Vic’s up early because she’s probably craving something weird and Mum’s up early because she always is.
Marie:Because having children fucks up your internal alarm clock. I was never the same after Max started Sunday swimming lessons at eight in the morning and demanded a full breakfast beforehand.
Seph:Aside from that, why are YOU up, Callum?
Callum:A mare’s in labour and I’m anticipating difficulties. I’ve been up all night.
Marie:Where’s Wren?
Callum:Getting some sleep. She’s been up too. I’ve said I’ll phone her if I need her, which I might shortly. Looks like things are moving so I’ll hopefully be spamming your feed with foal pictures in a couple of hours.
Claire:Cute. Eliza will love them.
Maxwell:Cal, can you play rugby next weekend? We’ve a game against Beeston Solicitors.
