It was. Olivia was usually at work by five in the morning, but then left at four. She was strict with her hours having seen too many of her colleagues burn out, so I knew today was a blip.
Before moving to London, my mum would’ve collected Rose each day from the child minder, even looked after her for a day a week. It was a luxury I was eternally grateful for, and when she’d eventually decided to move away to live with Danica, her new partner, there had been a side of me that had been crestfallen, knowing that childcare was going to be less straightforward than it had been. If Olivia moved to New York, Rose’s days would get longer; she’d be with Elspeth from seven-thirty in the morning until around six in the evening, and I’d likely be working after she’d gone to bed.
It wouldn’t give me much time to spend with my clever, beautiful girl.
“These things happen. I only have the two of them and a baby three days a week, so I’m glad of the company. As long as I know, we’re good, and she’s been a very good girl today. Very helpful. Her book is filled out by me and nursery so you can see what she’s had to eat and all that, and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Elspeth patted my shoulder, which made me miss my mum even more.
Heels clicked along the path that led to the front door in a rhythm I recognised.
“Auntie Liv!” Rose stretched her arms out as if trying to hug Olivia through the air. “I painted you a picture!”
“Amazing.” Liv leaned in to give her a kiss. “I’m really sorry, Elspeth, this almost never happens. And I’m sorry, Rose. I was late.”
My daughter just giggled. “I played with Addy instead. We had a teddy’s tea party.”
I saw Liv breathe a sigh of relief. She adored her niece, and half of the messages she left were her verbally beating herself up for being late for Rose on her first full day away from us since we’d moved.
But Rose clearly wasn’t bothered.
“What’s for dinner, Mummy?”
I sighed. I hadn’t thought about dinner. Liv would’ve sorted out something for Rose before I got home and then I’d have had something that wasn’t mouldy from the fridge.
“Auntie Liv is taking you and Mummy out for Italian. We can celebrate your mummy’s first day at her new job and you being such a good girl for Elspeth.” Liv stretched her arms out and Rose leaned over to her, freeing up my arms and making me realise what a dead weight she’d become.
“That sounds like a very good idea.” I gave my sister a relieved smile. “Thank you again, Elspeth.”
The older woman batted her hand at me, her eyes on Rose. “It’s been a pleasure. And I’ll see this one in the morning.” She stepped closer and ruffled Rose’s hair.
My daughter gave that little giggle again that made everything in the world okay.
“I’ll drop her off in the morning,” Liv said. “I’m guessing it’ll be a later bedtime than normal, so if I have her here for eight-thirty?”
I frowned at my sister. “What about your work?”
She shrugged. “Booked a day off. They can cope without me for once. Let’s go, Rose Petal. See you tomorrow, Elspeth!”
We wentto a little Italian place just around the corner from where I was living, the smell making my mouth water before we’d even walked through the door. The waiter led us to a table nicely out of the way and I settled Rose with a colouring book and pencils, which would keep her happily occupied while Liv and I inhaled food.
“Have I said I’m sorry enough yet?” Liv patted her hair, checking it was still in place.
It was thick and long like mine, but the colour was the same as Rose’s, walnut brown. Unlike mine and Rose’s, it didn’t have a wave, and instead was bone straight. She preferred to wear it up and was obsessed with it not being perfect.
“Yes, move on. You can get dinner and maybe a bottle of wine to take home. Decent stuff, not vinegar dyed red. That can be your penance.” A sickening feeling settled back in my stomach at how I’d had to leave Seph so suddenly. I knew he would judge; he’d think me flighty and unprofessional, and even though I knew I was none of those things, he didn’t know the reason why I’d left so suddenly.
“Mummy, do you have my books?” Rose pushed the pencils back in their case just as the waiter brought the two large glasses of chianti over and a juice box for Rose.
I reached for her satchel that was under the table and pulled out the picture books she’d become glued too. She was turning into a reader; just before Mum moved to Spain she’d started taking Rose to the library for story time and the library had become the place where she also wanted to be, going up to anyone who was talking and telling them to ‘shush’.
“Here you go.” I passed them to her and then made the unfortunate mistake of looking straight at my sister who wore the same expression as when she’d known I was pregnant and hadn’t told our mother yet. “Do you want spaghetti?”
Rose nodded, fully fixed on her books, one of which was about a unicorn named Jonathan, of all things.
“Do you want spaghetti too, Olivia?”
My sister glared.
“Why doesn’t your new firm know about…?” She glanced at Rose.
