She shot off again, talking to herself, or possibly the characters in her head that she'd been making up.
Seph stood up and collected up the plates. “Thanks for dinner,” he said, taking them into the kitchen. “When’s your flight?”
“Day after tomorrow.”
He nodded, opening the dishwasher and starting to fill it. His mother had him well-trained.
“Hope it goes okay.” He looked awkward. “I need to go. There's a suit fitting happening at Ava’s, and if I don't get there so she can have one final check, I'm pretty sure that my body will arrive in France in pieces, and I'm already late.”
He was late because of me, because I'd asked him to stay for dinner, and either he didn't want to let me down and say no, or he still wanted to spend time with me.
“No problem. I'd rather you stay in one piece. Say hi to Ava for me.” I wished this awkwardness would go, wished it would evaporate like spilled water on a hot day, a mess that no one needed to clean up.
“Sure.” He nodded, but didn't move. “If you change your mind about coming to France, everyone, including me would still love to have you there. Both of you. And for the record, I never felt it was moving too quickly.” He bent his head to mine and pressed a kiss to my cheek that was more bittersweet than anything I'd ever had before.
Then he left, and I was pretty sure he took what was left of my heart with him.
Travellingwith a small child was something that I had done at least twice a year so it really should’ve been getting easier. It wasn't, mainly because each time I went to the airport she got excited or worried for a completely different reason and I never knew quite what to expect or to prepare for.
We had an early morning flight to Barcelona, where we’d pick up a car for the two weeks, and drive us just under an hour north up the coast to where my mother was. Olivia was already there. She'd been sending me pictures of her feet either hovering over the pool or on the beach for the past week. I'd spoken to her only once, and she hadn't mentioned anything about work at all. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or something to worry about. No doubt I'd find out when I got there.
“Mummy, will the plane crash?”
Oh, Lord. Please not this.
“Mummy, what would happen if a wing fell off? Would the plane crash then?”
The woman sat on the other side of Rose had started to look a little nervous.
“The plane isn't going to crash. No wing is going to fall off, and in a couple of hours we'll be in another country. Can you remember how to count to ten in Spanish?” I hoped she could, and hoped she remembered it right, because I didn't have the foggiest idea.
“Uno, dos, tres.” She looked at the children's Spanish book my mother had sent over for her, and pulled it out of the holder in front of her seat.
I let go of the breath that I'd been holding and glanced at the woman who’d looked green a few seconds before. She was back to a normal colour now, although I heard her asking her husband how soon the stewards would be offering wine.
Somehow, I managed to fall asleep, catching up after a night spent mainly packing and wondering whether or not I’d be doing the right thing if I messaged Seph.
I didn't in the end. I drafted out about a dozen different messages, some that were just random observations about work, or London, or the new secretary that’d just started. Some were explanations, apologies, me asking if we could just forget what I had said because I didn't feel that way anymore.
Seph wasn't my ex. He wasn't going to leave me in the lurch. He wasn't going to see someone else behind my back. And even if he was cross with me at any point, he'd never take that out on Rose.
The first thing I thought about when I woke up, after realising I had an extremely well behaved child who hadn't done anything she shouldn’t while I was fast asleep, was ask her what Seph had been whispering when he was helping her with her homework.
“He told me not to tell you.” She smiled mischievously, still looking at her story book that she brought on the plane along with about three others.
“But we don't keep secrets from each other.” I was slightly annoyed that she didn't just tell me straight away.
Rose shook her head. “He told me that you'd want to know.”
“Did he saywhyI'd want to know?”
Her smile this time was cunning, and a little smug. The same smile I'd seen Seph wear.
“Nope! Mummy, how long is it till we get there?”
I gave up, hoping that she wouldn't demand an answer and refusing to give her one anyway, out of spite more than anything.
Chapter Twenty-Five
