My sister had never learnt the art of discretion.
My heart had started to thud a little bit harder in my chest, hard enough that I figured most of the restaurant could hear it. I hated having this reaction, hated feeling that my emotions were completely unregulated and I wasn't in control.
“Cassie.”
“Cassie? Seph’s ex?” Olivia was really staring now.
“Do you think you could make it a little less obvious that you're looking that way?” I kicked my sister under the table.
“Ouch! For fuck’s sake, Georgia, did you have to get me right on my shin?”
“Yes! You were staring at her like she was famous or something.”
There was that huff and eye roll again.
“But that's Cassie?”
“The one and only. It feels like she's everywhere I go at the moment. Back in a minute.”
I headed to the bathroom, needing to take two minutes away just to sort my head out and be able to put my game face on in case she recognised me. I went into the nearest stall and put the toilet lid down, sitting on it and staring at my nails. if I ended up with verbal diarrhoea to my sister about how Cassie had tried to get Seph to go for coffee with her, Olivia would end up cornering Cassie and giving her more than a piece of her mind. And it wouldn't include a nice piece of cake.
In fact, I could just see Olivia starting a food fight across the café. There was a laugh as if a conversation was continuing.
“So, what did he say? Did he agree to meet you?”
I listened in, hoping for some gossipy distraction.
“No, not yet, but I think that's because he's been seeing somebody else. I don't think it's serious though, I mean, from what I hear she's got a child and I just can't see Seph taking on somebody else's kid.”
It was a good thing I was already sitting down. The people who’d come in the bathroom were Cassie and her friend.
My heart raced to the extent I felt sick and I was glad I hadn't had anything to eat, otherwise it would’ve been coming straight back up. Cassie's voice was familiar even though I'd only heard it once before when we were at the function and I’d rescued Seph. But I knew it was her.
“He was always good with kids though,” her friend said. “Didn't you say that once when you saw him with some kid or other?”
“Yeah, but that's different. Seph wouldn't want to be tied down like that. You remember how much he liked to party and go out and do mad stuff.”
“People grow up, Cass. Maybe he's changed. Maybe you just need to let this one go. Didn't Ryan at that accounting firm ask you out?”
I was grateful for her friend. Not because of what she was saying to Cassie but because of what I was hearing. Seph had changed; his sisters had said as much and people at work had commented on how he was different, how he seemed to have grown up. I knew that wasn't just because of me, because the person I'd met when I first started was the person he still was now.
I heard perfume being sprayed, the scent of it reaching me. It was cloying and overly strong.
“He did and I might do. We'll see. I kind of wanted to see if I could go there with Seph again. I was surprised really that he said no.”
I knew I should have felt relieved. This was confirmation of what he said, although I didn't need it; I had trusted him when he told me what happened. But I didn't feel relief. Instead, that same swirl of doubt, that had started at the weekend when we'd been at his parents’ house, became an eddy, a fast-moving whirlpool that made me want to clutch hold of the side and get out.
“Maybe you're losing your touch.” Her friend said it with a laugh.
“I doubt it.”
There was the sound of a zip that suggested a handbag had been closed and then heels clicked against the floor and I was left on my own.
I gave it a couple of minutes, not wanting to bump into them by accident and face an awkward meeting. I breathed, concentrating on each inhalation just like a yoga teacher taught me years ago.
Olivia was still sitting at the table, the soup she’d obviously ordered for us already there. When I sat down she looked concerned, but at least this time she didn't look over to where Cassie was.
“What was all that about?” Her tone was sharp, an indication that she was worried.
