Maxwell:I tried phoning Seph but it was just going straight through to voicemail.
Claire:He’s probably opening his advent calendar. Only it won’t contain chocolates or a nice picture…
Claire:It’ll be of the female variety instead. Different one for each day.
I ran my fingers through my hair and closed my eyes. Typical conclusion jumping.
Claire:Eliza will be fine in aged two to three, Aves. Thank you.
Seph:Actually, I’ve been getting my phone fixed. Has anyone heard from Payton? She stormed off when I told her she looked like Mum.
Marie:And why would she storm off at that. What’s happened to your phone?
Maxwell:He probably dropped in it his coffee.
Seph:Actually, a kid ran into me when I was checking the messages from you lot and then stood on it when I dropped it. It’s not been a good day. Has anyone heard from Payton?
Claire:She rang me a few minutes ago. I believe you’re present-less.
Seph:I’m just going to buy bleach for you all. And maybe some counselling sessions.
Marie:Why didn’t you do joint presents with Shay?
Seph:I tried. But he’s done something with his sisters so they’ve all chipped in. I have got the kids presents though.
Shay was our cousin, one of Marie’s many nephews and nieces. He’d just moved over to England from America after living there for three years. Lainey, his sister, had been here for a few months already, and the other three Green daughters were in the process of joining them, all for various reasons, none of which I’d paid too much attention to.
Seph:I’ll get something sorted. I have another day yet.
Maxwell:Don’t buy us all a cheese selection again. Please. That was lame.
Claire:You’re just saying that because it gave you nightmares and you woke up screaming Jackson’s name.
Maxwell:Only time anyone’s screamed Jackson’s name.
Marie:Don’t be mean else I’ll tell you about how I scream your father’s name.
Maxwell:I’ve heard you do that, M. When he’s left the toilet seat up. Plenty of times.
Marie:You know, one day, I’m going to show your dad how to use this and he can see what heathens he produced.
Seph:Pretty sure you had something to do with that. I don’t think Dad can take all the blame.
Marie:Hmmmm. We’ll see how heathen you are Seph with the quality of your Christmas presents.
I grumbled and locked my phone. It was seven in the evening and I needed to head back to the shops, maybe find where my sister had escaped to, or find her kidnapper and pay them to keep her a bit longer.
2
A first edition of Naughty Amelia Jane by Enid Blyton – from Owen to Payton
Seph
“’Inkle, inkle, ickkle ‘tar…”
I loved my niece. I truly did. When I babysat so Claire and Killian could pretend they were adult humans again I would stand there and stare at her while she was sleeping, wondering how the hell something so perfect could be produced by a woman who could be so very, very evil.
“’Inkle, ‘inkle, ickkle ‘tar…” This time there was a giggle at the end.
