I didn’t come out of my room until I’d heard the cacophony of high pitched squeaky goodbyes from my sisters and Sophie. Only once I smelled fresh coffee did I emerge.
“She’s amazing, Liam.” Lena had her feet up on my couch. I walked over and flicked them off.
She laughed and put them back on again. There was something called oppositional defiance disorder, something one of my social workers had thought I had at one point. I found out what it was and then told Lena she had it. No one disagreed.
“You know this is just temporary, right?” I had told them, explaining about the building, the fact the owner would only sell it to a married couple.
Lena nodded. Jodie brought coffee over, using a tray like a civilised person.
“But you like her. Like a lot, like her.” Jodes sat down and put her feet up, grinning at me at the same time.
I didn’t respond. I had enough experience of them ganging up on me to wind me up. For them, it was a sport.
“We’ve gotten over the issues we had.” Kind of. We still argued. Bickered. Then had make up sex.
“I haven’t seen you look at anyone like that before.” Lena looked at me with a huge, horrific smile on her face. “I need to buy a bigger hat for this wedding.
“You don’t,” Jodie chirped in. “You look shit in hats. Stick with having your hair done.”
“It was a figure of speech.”
I sat back and let them argue for a bit. This was pretty much how life had been at the care home, once we’d settled down and found out that we actually quite liked each other.
“So are you and Sophie sleeping together?” Jodie asked, redirecting her attention back to me, now that she’d finished insulting Lena.
“Well, she did kind of walk out here wearing his clothes and looking like she’d spent the night doing things other than sleeping. But she had that glow – was someone else here with her, Liam, because I’m not sure you’re capable of giving a womanthat glow.” Lena smiled, that sweet smile that meant she knew exactly what she was saying and how she was saying it.
“Not starting this argument.”
Lena shrugged. “We told her about the first time you had sex.”
I hated my sisters.
“And we told her about Mikayla Higgins and how you didn’t speak to anyone for a week after she dumped you.” This was Jodie.
“Standard stuff. I’m assuming that you didn’t actually like her then, if you were trying to put her off?” I poured the coffee. I needed coffee at the very least to get through this.
“Welovedher!” Jodie said, snatching up the first cup I poured.
“So why were you trying to put her off?”
I saw a look cast between them both.
“Seriously, next time that director friend of mine is doing Macbeth, I’m putting you both forward for playing the witches – no acting necessary.”
Another look.
“It didn’t put her off. I think she found it quite endearing. And she made a comment about you having ‘come a long way’ since your first time.” Jodie reached over and patted me on the back. “She’s very normal.”
“Even if she does own the most expensive spas in the UK.” Lena picked up the next mug of coffee. “So might this wedding be real?”
“Did you too ever grow up past fifteen?”
They both giggled, thus answering the question.
“No, the wedding is because we need to be married to buy this property. She wants a spa over there and I want a recording studio where the press don’t congregate.”
“But she’s staying over. And you’re sleeping together.” Jodie smiled even wider. “And she doesn’t think you’re a dick anymore. So maybe you’ve found someone who can put up with your grumpy arse.”
