“What?”
“For fuck’s sake, Liam, you’re engaged. However fake it is, you’re pretending it’s real so you need a fucking ring. Do you want me to sort one?”
He had a point. “Yeah. That might be a good idea.”
Ring. Engagement ring. It occurred to me that this was a pretty drastic move. I was potentially getting married in order to buy a property. It was a fake marriage. Could you be put in prison for that?
And what sort of ring would Sophie want? She wasn’t brash or one of those women who was covered in obvious designer stuff, she was subtle. Discreet. And she had soft lips that tasted of chocolate.
“Nothing outlandish. Don’t buy the biggest rock in there. Something simple.”
“I’ll get the missus on it. If she catches me buying jewellery, she’ll think she’s getting a present.”
“Get her a fucking present, Wes, the woman puts up with your sorry arse every day. But fine, she’ll have better taste than you.”
“Why don’t you ask your new fiancée what sort of ring she wants? If there isn’t any huge romantic gesture coming up, you might as well get her input. I’ve found that checking stuff out is a good way to ensure your physical safety. Another piece of advice, nut crackers – don’t keep them in your house.” Wes sounded as if he was speaking from some sort of painful experience that I didn’t want to know about.
“We won’t be living together. No need for anything extreme.”
There was a laugh that verged on being a snort. “Liam, if you want people to believe this, you’re going to have to be a bit on the believable side. Be seen at a couple of restaurants and papped. At least look like you’re living together, because let’s face it, who actually gets married without living together nowadays unless it’s a cover up and you need to make this seem real. Which it is. Because for some reason you’re about to undertake a crazy hair-brained plan. Do you think you’re having a mid-life crisis?”
He was possibly right.
“Look, it’s a win-win situation. We both get the property. Actually, I might piss her off enough that she decides she’d rather not share it with me. At the same time, like you said, it’s a bit of decent press that’ll go with it. You think it’s manageable?”
“More than. But you need a pre-nup that stops her from dishing any dirt on you when it ends. Because it will. And unless you’ve become less fucking morose overnight, she’s going to get pissed off with you. I’ll talk to your solicitor, have her come out.” There was another sigh. “Try and be nice to this woman. Remember, you catch more flies with sugar.” There was a shout behind him, then he’d obviously put his hand over his phone and shouted something back. Something about breakfast.
“I’ll talk to you later, Wes.”
“Sorry, Liam, got to go. I’ll speak to you after. Don’t do anything stupid.”
What, like get engaged to someone for the sake of owning a property.
Was I that insane?
* * *
Sophie had ghosted me.
I’d assumed that she would be somewhere around the spa, given that Victoria and a couple of the other women were. Seph was there too, along with Eli.
I had no idea what to say.
I was looking for their friend to find out if she’d be my fake bride. I had no idea if she’d go along with that for definite, as I hadn’t got a firm answer last night. I didn’t know whether she would’ve told her friends – she was close to them – and what their reaction would be.
“You joining us?” Seph shouted from one of the hottest pools. He looked like he was being boiled alive.
“If that’s okay.” There was no need for me to check that it was – I had as much right to use the facilities as they did, but I had felt a bit of an interloper.
“Sure. Just be prepared to boil in your own skin.” Eli lazed back. He was quieter than some of the Callaghans, but when he said something, the others tended to listen.
I chuckled. “I can cope with that. I’ll just get changed.”
Being a shit was something you learned working in the music industry, if you didn’t have it already. I was a shit when I was a kid and when I was a teenager; I had no issue with being an ego-driven bastard as an adult, if it was called for and sometimes it was.
It wasn’t now though, but I had an agenda with getting into that water with Seph and Eli: I needed to find out more about Sophie. She hadn’t exactly agreed as such and she’d potentially had too much time to think.
As had I.
