1
Sophie
“Shit.”
My best friend of an indeterminable amount of time turned her head around fast enough to suggest that she had indeed been possessed by some unearthly demon.
“You really need to stop cursing.” Her eyes did look slightly reddened, as if that demon was cooking up some heat in her body.
“Your son isn’t here. He doesn’t have the hearing of a bat with super powers so I won’t be teaching him bad words today.”
Her eyes flashed and I debated backing away. Possibly for more than one reason. Vanessa’s semi-wrath was nothing compared to the huge beast that sat rumbling in front of us.
“You need to get out of the habit of swearing. It won’t be long until Teddy’s repeating whatever you say and I don’t want his first word to be ‘fuck’.” She looked from me to the plane. “Did you take the relaxants that the doctor prescribed?”
“How are you going to stop Jackson from swearing?” It was almost a mumble. Terror was starting to rip my vocal cords out of my throat.
Vanessa’s arm threaded through mine. “Every time he swears I refuse to put out.”
“Good move. Is it effective?”
She yanked me towards the steps.
The fear of flying, or aviophobia, had been an issue since I was twelve-years-old and had been on a plane that had been forced to land due to some sort of engine failure. I’d never tried to understand the mechanics of what had actually happened, preferring to put it down to fate and the wings of angels helping us away from the nearby housing estate and onto a flat, empty field, but I’d never boarded a plane without a prayer, alcohol, sedative or the reassuring, motivational slandering of my so-called best friend since.
“You could try washing his mouth out with soap and water instead. Showing a little of your sadistic side won’t hurt.” I gripped the railing tightly, my feet frozen to the ground. A queue was forming behind us. A long queue, full of people I knew would be cursing and tutting, generally impatient to get to their holiday destination, was forming behind us. I couldn’t freeze. Not now.
“He enjoys my sadistic side.” Vanessa’s grip tightened around my wrist. “Now if you don’t get up those steps immediately, I going to have Seph send you dick pics on the hour, every hour from nine till midnight.” Her grin was wicked.
My feet found it in themselves to move and my brain focused on trying to bleach the image of what Joseph Callaghan’s penis may or may not look like because it’s one appendage I didn’t want to meet pictorially or in real life. Seph, as he was known to his family and friends, was about as close to a little brother as I’d ever get.
Which was a crying shame.
“Shit! That worked! You’re actually moving!”
I would’ve turned round and glared at Van, but I was too busy trying to talk myself into remembering to breathe.
The door of the plane was close. I was about five steps away from boarding and I felt far too sober.
“Dick pics. Seph’s penis.” Vanessa’s words were hissed into my ear. “And you know I’m serious. Plus, I bet if you don’t manage this flight, Victoria will send you those ‘artful pictures’ of Max she has on her phone for spank bank material.
I made it onto the plane, looking rapidly for our seats. Claire, Vanessa’s sister-in-law, was already there, her tidy dark bob impossible to miss.
She gave me a wide smile.
“Vanessa’s been threatening me with dick pics.” The words came out a little too loudly. I half-noticed the glare of some little blue-haired woman sitting behind Claire O’Hara and I strongly suspected that she knew exactly what a dick pic was.
Claire raised her brows.
“Not Killian’s.” Killian was Claire’s husband. Six feet something of solid blonde muscle. He was also a genuinely nice guy who adored his daughter and his wife.
Claire shrugged. “Given that Killian has no idea what he’s doing after three beers nowadays I suspect half of London has received a picture of his penis.” She smiled at the blue-haired woman who seemed to be enjoying this conversation. “Although as far as penises go, it’s quite a nice one.”
“Thanks.” The voice was a familiar one.
Victoria, the bride-to-be and the star of this trip as much as she’d rather not be, emerged behind me. She was Vanessa’s future sister-in-law and in the last few months we’d become good friends.
“I've seen someone in the airport who looks almost identical to Max.” Victoria pushed her oversized glasses further up her nose. “Even to the extent where if I was his girlfriend I’d have told him he needed his hair trimming.”
