His hands remainedon her waist, fixed there. She knew he was giving her a chance to change her mind, not that she had any intention of doing that. There was a lot to think about, a lot to process, too much really to be deciding to do this. Abby understood that she was in a state of fight or flight, running on fear and adrenaline and worry. But she’d liked Alex for so long, maybe more than liked.
Was she going to regret this?
The woman she’d been before Tilly disappeared never regretted anything, apart from the chances she didn’t take. Abby took a deep breath and kissed him, his lips soft against hers and undemanding, letting her lead.
She knew he would have thought this through himself, knew he would’ve already considered it, what the consequences were for this. Maybe there were to be none. Maybe one night was all they’d have because she’d have to move on at some point, when – if – all of this was resolved.
She deepened the kiss, his hands starting to explore over her bottom, up under the back of her top. His fingers were rough and calloused, from both climbing and the work he did with wood and it added an extra level of need for him.
Abby traced his collar bone with a finger then lower, feeling the muscles underneath. She’d never seen him too much without a shirt on or a T-shirt, and although she’d imagined what he looked like without it, she’d never thought he’d be like this.
Jake Maynard had swagger. Scott had a streak of arrogance. Zack was the nice guy.
Alex was the quiet one. The one who just got on with it, keeping in the background, letting his brothers and cousin keep the limelight.
She felt him stiffen as her hands explored his chest, feeling his nipples harden. Abby look up and smiled.
“I’m glad I affect you as much as you affect me.”
She heard him swallow. “Everyone in town is going to think we’re a couple. Is that what you want?”
The words surprised her. “That they think we're a couple or that wearea couple?” Her hands froze where they were.
“Both.” There was a choke to his voice. “The rumour’s going to go around. You’re staying here, we’ve spent the day together.”
“I don’t care what people think but if you do…” She stepped back, her feeling bereft at the lack of contact with him.
“No. Not at all. But what do you want me to say if people ask?” He shook his head. “Shit, Abs, I’m making a huge fucking mess of this, aren’t I? I’m sorry. I’m crap with women.”
He looked forlorn, like a puppy who’d just been told off, with his brown eyes soft and worried.
She laughed. “That wasn’t the smoothest thing you’ve ever said to me. Or possibly any woman. Alex, why are you here with me like this?”
“Like what? Standing here with a pretty painful erection, wondering what I need to say to make this better and thinking you’re going to see sense and tell me you’re sleeping on the sofa in the next two minutes?”
He wasn’t smiling. She realised he was serious.
“This is your town. What do you want people to think about us; because you’re right. People are going to think we’re together.”
“I’m happy for them to think that. I’m single, it doesn’t cause any harm to anyone. It offers you a degree of protection too, if people think you’re seeing a police officer.”
She nodded. That wasn’t what she wanted him to say. “Okay. Okay. I get that.”
“And I like you. But I’m worried that everything’s weird and too soon because I’m not sure we’d be here if you hadn’t been followed home two nights’ ago.” He reached one hand towards her and stroked a finger up her arm.
“Let’s just be honest if anyone asks. Well, about what we are. I’m staying with you because I don’t feel safe at home and things between us are more than friends.” She threw him a bone.
He nodded. “Okay. I think I’ve killed the moment though, haven’t I?”
She smiled, taking a step towards him, touching his wrists, letting her fingers intertwine with his. It was a small touch, but one that travelled through every nerve and sinew, ricocheting right through her body.
He was on her in the blink of an eye, his hands in her hair, cupping her bottom, pulling her close so she could feel his erection pressing against her stomach. This time he didn’t let her lead the kiss or anything else. He was demanding and needy, backing her through the kitchen and towards the stairs.
Then she was lifted by him, clutched to his chest. He smelled of him, of musk and the outdoors, of the earth and it made her feel grounded and light-headed at the same time. He took the steps carefully, not rushing even though she wanted him to.
“You can change your mind. I can always stop.” His words were almost whispered as he carried her over the threshold to his bedroom, the sheets roughly made.
“I’m not going to, but can you hurry up!”
