He sees me and nods, then walks over to where I’m standing.
“Who was that?”
“Layla.”
“You’ve fucked her?”
His eyes are dancing with laughter.
“A few times. We met for breakfast. The person I wanted to see didn’t respond.”
I follow him into the conference room that’s still being prepared for Blair and Goldsmith. No one is close enough to hear our conversation. No one seems to be sparing us a glance.
“I’m sorry.” Because I was.
“I’m not in a position to do anything.”
His laugh is quiet and knowing. “Blair. It’s serious?”
“I’m not doing anything without her.”
He nods. “I understand. But what does that make me apart from your voyeur?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t fucking know.”
He puts a hand on my arm and I feel a shock ignite my skin. I remember that night in the plain room where we fucked and rutted and did more than just brought ourselves to orgasm.
“’Zac.” His name is a prayer.
“I’m not going to persuade you. And I wasn’t necessarily trying to arrange for a repeat. Just to talk.”
I stand straighter, stiffer. His hand is still there.
“I saw Goldsmith with Elise yesterday.”
It was weak. Changing the topic.
“I don’t know which one is preying on the other.”
“She could cause trouble.”
“She will do. But I’ll keep you informed.” He moves his hand and I can breathe.
Sixteen years ago
He’s my age. Tall, dark, a body like mine. There’s a trail of dark hair that leads from his chest to just above his fatigues and then it disappears. My eyes keep coming back to it and I’m sure he’s noticed. And I’m sure he doesn’t care.
We’ve been stuck out here for two weeks in this airless city, cramped inside one room and a bathroom, which we’re told is a luxury. I haven’t fucked anyone for weeks and I’ve spent nights waking with jizz over my stomach as I’ve come in my sleep.
“When are we getting picked up?” He’s called Joe and he’s from Gretna, the place where people run away to get married. We were a training programme that went wrong and we’ve been stuck here, waiting for a ship out.
“Tomorrow.”
“What are you going to do when you get home?” He pulls off his vest, his chest glistening with sweat. We’ve spent the days doing body weight exercises in the room and eating the shit food that’s arranged for us as it’s not safe to go out.
Somewhere outside an explosion happens.
Neither of us flinch.
