“Blair! What are you doing today?” She shifts away like he’s on fire, or she wants me to think she thinks he’s on fire.
“Reading by the pool and then sea swimming. Join me if you want.” Elise does not sea swim.
She giggles. “I might see what Lennox is doing then.”
She doesn’t know. I look at Ben but his eyes are on his phone.
“Lennox has flown out this morning.” No point in dressing up what my shitty brother has done.
“Flown out where?”
“London.”
“Oh.”
I can tell she wants to make a comment that suggests she knew this was the plan all along, but she’s unsure as to how.
“Why don’t you bring your book to the beach later when I’m swimming?”
She nods. “Thank you. I may just stay by the pool.”
There’s silence and it’s awkward.
I let it reign.
* * *
I leave Elise on the beach later that afternoon when I’m tired of swimming and need some shade. There’s a pocket of trees nearby which offer shade and the chance for a change of scenery, and I need to get away from Elise’s silence which is festering between us.
I wish she’d open up about Lennox, talk to me the way she sometimes used to when we were younger, rather than putting on this pretence that’s only going to break all our hearts. Instead, she’s talked about Ben and how he’s grown, how he looks like a man and if he’s single – the second woman in twenty-four hours to ask me the same thing.
Ben hasn’t messaged me or spoken to me since we fell asleep in bed. He headed to the main island shortly after Elise found out about Lennox and I have no idea when he’ll be back or why he’s gone and I’ll probably not find out. But what we did last night haunts me.
Tree grow denser. The light is dimmed by the leaves that form a canopy and I lose myself in a world of far away from the reality of my life. Thoughts of woodcutters and knights in shining armour creep into my head as I hear the crunch in the undergrowth but see nothing.
“Didn’t your mother teach you about the Big Bad Wolf?”
I jump, almost walk into a tree.
I know the voice. I smell the musk that’s spread all over my sheets. Probably still over me.
“How did you find me?”
“I’m meant to keep an eye on you.”
I turn around, my back to the tree, pressing against it. He’s wearing suit trousers and a shirt. The top button of his shirt is undone and his tie is in his hand and he’s running it through his other palm.
I’m vulnerable here. I want to be vulnerable. His eyes aren’t leaving me.
My mother once told me that once you’ve gone all the way with someone you can’t go back to just holding hands.
I don’t want to go back to just holding hands. Not after last night.
Ben wraps his tie around his hand and pulls tight. My head spins at the thought of where that tie is going to end up. He steps towards me, slowly, looking me up and down and I feel naked.
“Take your top off.”
“No.”
