I angle myself into him as we walk, keeping my arm around his waist, memorising the feel of him as we walk around in public for the first time. His arm is around me, or around my shoulders. When I stop to look in a shop, he circles my waist and pulls my back into him, shielding me. Showing me exactly what weapon he’s concealing.
It’s when I lean my head back against his shoulder that the yearning hits me. This is what it’s like to have someone hold you. To desire you. Look after you. I point at something in the window and he laughs, commenting back. It’s irrelevant what we say, it’s what we’re not saying.
Walking round the market, he holds my hand, pointing out some of the items for sale. Every so often, we find ourselves in an embrace and it’s too easy. Too easy to want this to be what it’s not: something more than just a working relationship so I can have a day of being almost normal.
I want more. And I think Ben does too.
* * *
Lennox isn’t alone when we get back. He’s sitting outside in the early evening sunshine, sprawling across one of the outdoor sofas while a woman I recognise lounges in the pool, hair pulled up like a pineapple on her head.
I realise again that my brother is a bastard.
“Elise!” I try my best to act happy that she’s here, just for a second pretending she’s travelled all this way to see me. But I can’t, because I know that’s one of the biggest lies on the island right now.
“Blair!”
I feel bad because she looks genuinely pleased to see me.
“I’m so glad I could fly out and join you!”
I can see Ben smirking out of the corner of my eye. He’s warmed up since the market, spoken more words. Given me more. He knows how I’ve always felt about Elise, how our relationship springs between good friends to almost rivals, but for what I don’t know.
“It’s good to have you here.” I don’t glance at my brother, who’s checking something on his phone. Possibly a message from Genevieve.
She pulls herself out of the pool. “You look well. Brown already. And your hair’s gone blonder.”
It has. Some distant ancestor has granted me skin that tanned and hair that was naturally fair, making me look anything but Scottish. After barely a week on the island, my hair’s almost white from the sun and my tan golden. Elise will struggle to not burn and I know she’s jealous of my tone, which was why she continually refers to it.
“This is where my life’s easy.” Kind of. I’d never had a girls’ holiday, where you could spend a week or two weeks away escaping life completely. Today had been one the closest times I’d had to anything resembling normality and even though it had been a quick choice this morning, Ben and his team had already planned for it.
Making a girl’s dreams come true.
“It suits you.” She’s in a good mood. “What plans do you have for the next few days?”
I sit down by the pool and dangle my legs in it. Ben sits down on a chair and frowns. I’m trying to keep from watching him, knowing that Elise will come to some mental conclusion.
“I plan to have no plans. More reading. Maybe a yoga session tomorrow. Or a swim in the sea and some snorkelling.”
“How about a party?”
She’s only just arrived and she’s wanting to impinge her agenda which is typical Elise.
Lennox looks up, puts his phone next to him. “I think that’s what we’re trying to escape from, Lise.”
She pulls her face, reminding me of when she was thirteen and didn’t get her way. “But this is a perfect place for having asoiree. And you can book a bartender, have a few cocktail lessons to warm people up. It would be so much fun. Come on, you only live once!”
“That isn’t what we’ve come away for.” He doesn’t look impressed.
“Do you know who else is on the island?”
I do. There are three actors and a politician, a media mogul and his model wife. There will be others too. It’s why we come here. We can be normal, unextraordinary.
“It’s great way to meet people. Blair, you know you want to.”
“No thanks, Elise. But I know Genevieve has parties every other evening or something like that. You could always get Lennox to take you.”
She sighs, as if she’s had enough of tolerating us. “So whatarewe doing this evening?”
