He stops the kiss. Holds me firm.
“Steady.”
I feel my face heat up. Embarrassment. “I’m sorry.”
Ben shakes his head. “Don’t be. But we need to stop.”
Did I do something wrong? I curse myself for not being like Elise, experienced and confident.
He kisses me again and I can tell he’s trying to make it less intense but his hands are on my back and my butt, his fingers part underneath my waistband and I want him to touch me more.
I thought about this when I’ve been in bed, imagined what he’d feel like under his T-shirts and sweats and jeans. I wonder if he’s thought about me and I hope so.
“Blair.” My name is an apology from his lips. “Fuck.”
I can feel him throbbing against me. I move my hips.
His lids lower, his hands move over my breasts. Finally.
“No one will come here.” I know my nipples are hard. My bra is lace and unpadded, pretty.
“I know. But you’re sixteen and…”
He’s going to say princess.
“And what…”
“You’re my friend.”
“Maybe with benefits…” I toy with the bottom of his T-shirt and place my hands under it, feeling his hard stomach, the ridges of muscle. My hand grazes the top of his dick, by accident as I don’t really know what to do.
He winces.
“Sorry…”
There’s a head shake. “No. I’m just really turned on.” He puts his hands on my hips and pretty much lifts me off him, bringing us both to standing.
I glance down and see what his sweatpants can’t hide and then look up to see Ben staring at the sky.
“Fuck, Blair. I have no idea what to do here.”
“And you think I do? I’ve never…” I gesture towards his dick. “I’ve only ever kissed before. And not like that.”
His grin is dirty and proud and reminds me of the day he pulled my hair. “Do you want to forget this happened?”
“No.” Absolutely not. “I’d like a repeat.”
He nods. “Me too.” Then the grin has gone and he’s serious. “Are you here tomorrow?”
“Yes, but I’m still here now.” The ache between my legs is still there too.
His hands are frozen on me. “We can’t go back to just friends if we ever do this.”
I nod. “Will you still defend me?”
“Always.”
And I know he means it.
