“Probably.”
I sensed Max rather than saw him. He was holding Teddy to his chest, probably practicing for his own.
“What Dad won’t tell you Callum, but I will, is that she was having an affair.”
I didn’t look at Max. I just focused on our father who was looking at the ground.
“You shouldn’t blame her, Maxwell. I worked a lot, I was away and she had four kids to look after.” Dad nursed his coffee, not seeing me.
“Am I yours?” The trickle became a gush.
Dad laughed. “Have you looked in a mirror recently?”
Max’s laugh always took me by surprised because it wasn’t often you heard it. He was laughing because Dad was right; we had the same eyes, same jaw, same nose. Out of the four Callaghan sons, I was the one who looked most like him.
“Did you know him?”
He shook his head. “By the funeral, yes.”
“Who was he?” I looked at Max, who’s expression was anything but light now. I wondered if he knew who he was, this man who had turned our mother’s head. “Do you know?”
Max nodded. “Dad told me about the affair a couple of years ago. I worked out who it was.” His eyes were dark, flickering.
“You were never at home.” I looked at my father. “She never saw you. She was just stuck with us in this big house day after day. I’m not surprised she needed someone else.” My voice was loud enough to echo through the trees and sharp enough to cut through more of the conifer.
“I wasn’t surprised either.” He didn’t shout back, not like he’d used to. “I tried, Callum. I offered to change jobs; move house; if there was something that would’ve helped I’d have given it her. But she didn’t want it.”
“Who was he?”
“Amelie’s father.” Max spoke quietly, as if the leaves would gossip if they heard. “I remembered seeing him leave the house during the day that summer she died. That was why she didn’t want to move and she didn’t want Dad to work less.”
I looked at my father for the first time, ignoring the burning inside me. “Why didn’t you fucking confront her.” My anger wasn’t for her, it was for him.
“Because she would’ve left, maybe. And I didn’t want that. I wanted us all to be happy but I didn’t know how to fix it.” He stood up. “Max said I needed to tell you all. I don’t want you to think badly of her Cal. She was a good woman; she just wasn’t well. Think about it and we’ll talk more this weekend, if you want.” He walked away, between the trees and towards the house.
Max sat down, Teddy looking at me with sleepy eyes. “You okay?”
I shrugged. I wasn’t sure. “I didn’t know her. I just know that Dad wasn’t around much.”
“I worried I was like Dad and wouldn’t spot the signs with a woman I was with, you know, if they were down or if we had kids and I was left with them – would I be better than he was.”
“You were practically my father when I was younger. And you did a damn good job.” I remembered Max badly making my packed lunch for school and cleaning up my knees when I’d fallen off my bike.
“That means a lot. Please tell Vic that.”
“You going to have kids soon?” I needed a distraction.
“We have a huge house. We need to fill each room else Seph’ll be back.”
“Does Vic know that?”
“She’s agreed to filling one room. That’s a start.” His grin was wicked. “I’ve had time to get my head around this, Cal. Just please don’t take it out on Dad.”
“There’s no reason to, is there? It wasn’t him who had the affair.”
“No, but there’s an argument that he drove her to it. Which is what he thought.” Max loosened Teddy from the sling and quietly talked to him, the baby grinning toothlessly at him.
“It’s complicated.”
